If you ever find yourself falling in love with a married man who loves you too, it is important that you are aware of the possible consequences this situation will bring.
Sometimes things get more complicated when a married man and a woman are friends. Putting a friendship at risk because a new feeling is looming can be overwhelming.
Many women have been in that position, which draws different outcomes. All depends on the sentimental statue of the marital relationship that the married man has with his wife.
That’s the key part! Because it doesn’t matter if he loves you back too. He’s already married. His feelings can be deposit in you, but he’s still committed to his wife by law and by God.
So, what should you do?
I will detail what you can and can’t do. Also, I will discuss what to expect in the future.
This is a sensible topic. And a lot of women don’t know what to do when this happens to them. They feel confused and frustrated. And it is understandable. So, stay with me and I will show you how to properly proceed.
What to do If you’re falling in love with a married man who loves you too
As stated, there are things that you can and cannot do. But before detailing them, you have to face and internalize one important fact: He’s MARRIED! This reality must not be drifted away from your mind. Keep it at all times.
Never, ever, for any second think that you can forcibly bend this reality to match some dreams that comes from your desire to be with this man.
And if you wonder why?
It’s for your own good. It will save you some pain!
What you can’t do
Here are 8 things that you should avoid at all cost:
1. Do not interfere in another person’s marriage
You love each other. That’s a fact. But it doesn’t give you the right to meddle with his marriage. And he has to respect the sanctity of the union.
It’s absolutely wrong to provoke discord. If you do it, you’re breaking a family apart. And it’s also a sin.
You also has to keep in mind that there might be other people that can get hurt besides the wife. Children are the ones who suffer the most. It can leave marks that will become into traumas.
Seeing the father, the one that is the fundamental pillar of the family structure, leaves is something that significantly impact the lives of children.
Children always need their fathers. They are the guide. The person that shows the way and give examples. No family is complete without the presence of the father.
2. Do not date him
You should refrain yourself to go on a date with him, even if he insists.
Dating him means that you’re taking the step to start a relationship with him. And that possible will be an extramarital one.
Do you want to be the lover? The other woman?
Ask yourself those questions and see if you feel comfortable with that role.
3. Do not have Intimacy
This is a must do. Once you have sex with him, you become the lover and he becomes the cheater.
And if you both feel love, you’re going to ask for more. This can lead to a spiral of desire that can cause both of you to lose the reason, judgment and common sense.
So, don’t make such step. It could be a point of no return.
In the event you form a serious relationship with him in the future, and then everything turns bad at some point, he might be do the same with another woman, and you will suffer the same fate of his first wife.
4. Do not call him at home
This has to do with interfering with his marriage. A married man’s house is sacred. It should be respected. When you call, you’re entering into this man’s family nucleus.
If you need to speak with him, do this:
- Call him when he’s at work or;
- Meet him outside in a reserved place.
Also, try no to send him text messages. He could answer at night, which might seen suspicious to his wife. Or worse, he could forget to delete them and the wife could find the messages.
If you’re both are friends or coworkers, text him if it’s just necessary, on decent hours.
5. Do not let your friends see you hanging out with him
This is not about what they will say or think about you rather how you see yourself.
Do you want to see yourself as a woman that is trying to steal a married man from his wife?
If you’re feelings towards this man are true and noble, you wouldn’t want go around with him in public, acting like a romantic couple.
Even you invite others to join in friendly get together day in order to mask date, it could be consider cheating. Just take a look at the survey below:
Given the fact that at the moment your relationship is forbidden, you are obliged to repress any desire to start relationship with him.
6. Do not receive romantic gifts from him
When you accept love gifts, you’re telling him that he can go further. In other words, you’re opening the door for romance. And that’s something you should avoid.
It doesn’t mean that you have to reject him harshly. Tell him that now it’s the time for those details. Remind him that he’s married. And whatever happens, these gestures can wait.
That’s how you deal with escalation that could needlessly speed things up.
7. Do not visit him at his house
Remember about the interference?
This is a clear sign that you’re entering into his family. Even if it’s something related to work, it’s not good to go to his house.
The home of married man is the temple where he is “king and his wife is his queen.” And you’re not in that position.
8. Do not let him visit you at your house
Just as bad that you visit him at his house is that he visits you at your house. It doesn’t matter if you live alone. There are some things that you can avoid.
When you let him visit you, you’re bringing your desire to your own house. This easily can lead to intimacy.
It’s somehow painless to fight urges when the object of desire is away.
What you can do
Now, let’s see the recommendations that help you deal with this situation:
Ask yourself what you really feel
Also, sometimes the reason behind that love you supposedly feel might be just the craving to be with somebody, to be in a relationship. So, get to know yourself better.
Analyze if he’s really in love with you
How do you really knows he loves you? did he tell you that or it’s just a hunch?
A married man can lie and say that he loves or is falling in love with another woman because he wants to sleep with her. And if she is somehow innocent, her heart can easily fool her with his advances.
So, you have to be really sure if he loves you. Most of the time is not love. It’s lust! And you have to recognize when you see it.
Never forget he’s married. Control your emotions. Don’t let them drag you down.
When you’re with him, set limits both won’t cross. You’re adults not kids.
Pray God that he show the right path
God is the only one that show the your path. It will be full of obstacles. But those challenges will build your character. And difficult as they appear, you must carry on.
If a relationship is not meat to be, it will be for your own good even if you don’t see it at the moment. New doors will open and each piece will fit.
What are the expectations of having a relationship with a married man
This is what you face when you start a relationship with a married man:
Men can lie about their circumstances and tell you about how terrible are their lives with their spouses. They even talk about a real separation. Clearly, there is an off-base thing in that relationship, yet don’t be tricked into imagining that he will leave everything for you.
In big number of cases, married men don’t leave their wives. When they hit on other women, they’re just getting on the impulse of pleasure train. Dr. Jordan Peterson masterfully explains the reason why men cheat in this video.
Falling in love
A few ladies engage in these connections because of reasons other than love. For instance, they are drawn to a hazardous situations to accompany somebody without a wistful responsibility since he satisfies them with gifts, and they figure they will have financial stability.
The issue is that it is exceptionally simple that you turn out to be sincerely involved in a very romantic way, and without acknowledging it, the affair can turn into a genuine feeling.
When you are with a married man, you have to live a double life since you won’t want your family and close friends to know who you’re really dating.
You won’t hang out with him in public places because there’s the risk that somebody you know can recognize you or him and tell the wrong person.
Also, you can’t phone him whenever you like, and spend the weekends with him because he would be with his own wife and children.
The initial months you might have that sensation of stability, whether romantic or material, on the grounds that the man you are with truly have feelings for you.
However, eventually the relationship get stuck because you start to see no future.
The other woman
At one point when you are with him you will feel regretful for what you are doing in the open. You will be “the other woman” of the story since probably you think about the family or relationship that you are assisting to destroy.
Furthermore, if by chance somebody finds out, you will be the most heartless individual, having no morals and qualified as a destroyer of homes.
You will be condemned to feel jealous. And this is different from his perspective because he could tell you that he would also feel the same if you date someone else.
But what he is really saying that he is jealous of his mistress. That’s you!
What is clear is that with this type of relationship questions will flood your head. You will start to wonder that if he’s dating you while being married, what could stop him from dating a third woman.
Give that this is a complicated issue for women, I assume you have other related questions.
Falling in love with a married man who loves you too quotes
Here are some quotes that perfectly mirror this type of situation.
I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don’t know one who wouldn’t fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.George Jean Nathan
This quote just highlights the propensity of many married men to go after any girl that gestures at them.
God has not always answered my prayers. If he had, I would have married the wrong man — several times!Ruth Graham
This is a very true quote. How many times have you asked God to help you get the man you’re interested in the moment? And you find out later that he was not the one.
On the other hand, this graphic quote highlights the admission that loving a married person is painful, and hang on the hope that one day the love you feel to each other can materialize.
Can there be a future with a married man?
Possibly not. I most cases, as I’ve implied, married men don’t leave their wives. If there are children, he might choose to stay with his wife until they have reached a certain again.
Few cases shows that he will go with you. Even if he feel love, it’s very complicated that the throw away. Although his marriage might be in a how hill, he wouldn’t want to commit again to something serious.
Should I wait for him?
That’s totally on you. But have this in mind. If you insist on the desire to be with this married and willing to wait, you will be closing other opportunities life has for you.
Also, you may find out later that you were wrong about this man. And you have lost a precious time living on a illusion.
Will God give his blessing?
No. He will never give his blessing if you have a relationship with a married man. And if you contribute to break the family union, you will be judged by it.
Through out the whole article, I’ve made pretty clear that you should not have a romantic relationship with a married man. All relationships that include spouses are sacred not only by law but also by God as stated before.
I understand how you feel. You emotions are very difficult to control, but you have to do it. I have detailed several ways on how to handle this situation:
- Don’t meddle in a man’s marriage.
- Reframe yourself from dating him.
- Don’t sleep with him.
- Respect his house.
- Don’t go to public places with him.
- Make clear that you won’t accept love gifts.
- Stay away from his home.
- Tell him to not visit you at your house.
So, be strong and act responsibly. Even if your love is kind, it’s not worth it to have illusions that one day you will have future with him.