Can A Married Man Be Jealous of His Mistress?

This is a typical question that arises in triangle affairs. It is something that carries connotations. One of them is how much the man cares about his mistress (I’m going to get into that later).

So, let’s go straight to the point!

Can a married man be jealous of his mistress?

Yes. It happens more than usual. Sometimes when a married man has an extramarital relationship with another woman, it can turn up deeply sentimental as well.

It goes beyond the mere physical attraction. It could’ve started by being unable to resist a beautiful woman, and then become something more serious. If you wonder why, let’s point out some of the interesting details that explain this behavior.

Do married men get emotionally attached to their mistresses?

Yes. As I implied, once a married man has established a relationship with another woman – no matter if it’s just physical – there is a great chance that it could affect him.

We’ve all been witness to husbands suffering from their mistresses, seeing them with other men. It’s one of the outcomes that we could expect from such a relationship. Even if the conditions are discussed at the beginning of the relationship and decided that it would be causal, when things get rolling, the results are unpredictable.

Mistress vs wife

This is the inevitable confrontation that not only occurs between these two people but also in the mind of the man. Mistress and wife have demands. And the man has to meet them.

And what about what the man wants? He wants energy. This could be one of the underlying factors that move a married man to start a relationship with another woman. The video below greatly explains this phenomenon.

Why does a married man care for his mistress?

Because emotions can easily slip through into the relationship. Feelings are the root cause for any problem in a love entanglement. As discussed, a married man, and also his mistress, can certainly develop emotional attachment to one another.

Most people who have been in that situation know for a fact that a connection can form even if the relationship is solely based on physical attraction.

Can a married man love his mistress more than his wife?

When the relationship enters into a whirlpool of emotions, the mistress can replace the wife’s spot in his heart. That’s when new feelings can sprout inadvertently.

And this is a process. It doesn’t occur overnight. To understand it better, we have to analyze the origin that brings about this relationship in the first place.

Signs a married man is in love with his mistress

Here are 10 very useful signs to know if a married man has feeling towards his mistress:

1. Invade mistress personal space

In a relationship of lovers, each one has their obligations and, by default, respects the space of the other; If the married man suddenly begins to interfere in the life of that other person, it is because he is beginning to have feelings towards her.

2. Compare his wife to his mistress

Although comparisons are hateful, for a person who is in two relationships it is difficult not to compare. When the lover begins to win points against the wife, it is clear that love has long been present in the illicit relationship.

3. The mistress has an important place in the future

If he does this, he is likely in his mind- or at least harbors the possibility – to leave his wife and start a serious relationship with that forbidden love.

4. Feelings of jealousy

This is perhaps one of the clearest signs of falling in love with his mistress, since the fact that they are lovers, they should take the issue of jealousy out of the equation. So if this happens, there is a beating heart in sight!

If you, as a married man, are having these feelings, it is a good idea to read what psychologist Angela Meredith has to say on how to manage the feelings of jealousy in relationships.

5. Public displays of affection

One of the reasons why people have lovers is for the thrill of doing something forbidden and keeping it hidden, so when the engaged is affectionate in public with the other, it means that temptation is no longer what keeps him at bay. So it can be love.

6. Expensive gifts

With a quick swipe of his credit card, he gives you everything you want and needs. After a while, you begin to realize that the gifts he brings you are much better than the ones he buys for his wife.

For instance, he never buys you just flowers for Valentine’s Day, he does everything.

He buys you whatever you want without even looking at the cost of those things. A man who is still in love with his wife would still give her better gifts.

Some men love to flash their money, and usually, they do it in front of the woman they desire.

So why would he spend all that money on the mistress and not on his wife?

The answer is very simple. He is in love with you or at least he is falling in love with his lover. He finds her more important than his wife and acts on that thought.

7. Pay attention to details

Men don’t remember the little details of a woman unless they are very interested in her. They will not remember these things about someone who is not important.

If you are the mistress, you should be on the alert every time he mentions a little piece of information about you.

Ask yourself this: Did he buy you something you randomly mentioned?

A married man has many things on his mind, especially with his wife and children. However, that doesn’t change the fact that he remembers every little detail about you.

Your favorite color, favorite dish, how you like to drink your coffee or tea. This married man remembers everything about you. That’s a clear sign is just more than a physical relationship.

8. Getting more personal

Every healthy relationship consists of two people who know each other well enough to fall in love, but before that, he never wanted to meet you.

He wanted to keep things strictly casual, so meeting you would only have been detrimental to his own well-being. But it seems that now he thinks differently. He can’t help but want to get to know you better.

He asks you about your friends and family and the things you’ve been through. This married man does not shy away from asking you any details now.

Here’s a clear sign a man who doesn’t have feelings for her mistress won’t care enough to ask these questions. So, he is telling you that he is falling in love with you with every question he asks you about your personal life.

Even if you don’t mind talking about it the first time your heart was broken, he’s still hanging on to every word you say.

9. Talk so highly of you

He might talk to you in a way so highly. He can even express that he’s feeling something that he’s never felt before. And he goes beyond confessing that you could be his soulmate, then you know that he is now sliding through the rabbit hole of love.

10. Talk bad about his wife

Men fall out of love when that long-term relationship or marriage simply loses its flavor. When their relationship loses that special “something’, the man goes elsewhere to find it.

If you hear him bad-mouthing his wife early on in your relationship, that’s actually a red flag. Sometimes, he does it to make you like him more and not because he thinks that. And sometimes he is probably using that as a method of manipulation to get what he needs from you.

On the other hand, if he’s just starting to confide in you about the problems he’s having in his marriage and with his wife, it may be because he’s developing feelings for you.

It doesn’t mean that he will divorce her just because he is saying bad things about her. But he thinks of you as someone more important than his wife.

He wouldn’t let you, his mistress, know so much about his personal life if he didn’t hold you in high esteem if he didn’t think you were extremely important.

This is one of the signs that the man is in love with his mistress!

He says that his wife doesn’t understand him anymore, that she doesn’t feel the spark between them anymore, and that the only reason he isn’t getting a divorce is because of the kids.


This is an interesting topic, especially for people who are into this relationship. So, here are some other questions that you’ve probably asked:

Can a married man think of his mistress as his soulmate?

No, he will never think of her in that way. He can get obsessed. But he will always see her as his mistress. He will never love deeply and see past the pleasures she provides.

Can a mistress fall in love with a married man?

Yes, contrary to married men, a mistress can fall in love with the man she’s having an affair. In the beginning, she could be convinced that the relationship is just physical, but eventually, she might start developing deep romantic feelings.

It happens because of the interaction. As time passes, if the married requests more of her company, she will get used to it, making the bond tighter.

Will a mistress feel jealous of the wife?

As the extramarital relationship prolongs, the mistress may feel that she has rights. She will demand more. And when she sees that the married man puts his wife above, she will protest.

The wife will become her rival, someone that she has to combat with. Here’s where things get complicated since the mistress will interfere in the man’s marriage.

Can a married man make his mistress happy?

Moments of happiness will not produce peace, which is something each person should always strive for. So, even if they could feel good at the beginning, it’s not going to last.

The mistress will eventually know her place, tearing down any possible dream that she may have with this man. And he, as time goes by, might even find another mistress. That’s what normally comes out of this type of relationship.


Now that I have stated that a married man can indeed be jealous of his mistress, and the clear signs that show if he is developing feelings towards his mistress, it is necessary to point out some exceptions.

Sometimes the real cause of jealousy is not love. It is because he is feeling that somebody else can take his position. It may sound absurd, but here is where the human nature looms. We, as humans, are sometimes very possessive regarding things, and we expand it to people.

So, It’s not far-fetched to think that a married man may see his mistress as one of his possessions. And when he sees another man kissing his woman, he may take so well. There may be love underneath, but what drives him is his possessive nature. This applies to married women too. The feeling of losing somebody that you think belongs to you might actually bring a reaction that you don’t expect.

However, these are isolated cases. Most scenarios involved feelings towards the mistress.

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