It’s understandable to feel uncomfortable when a married man says that he loves you. He’s married, and you know that will cause trouble.
Even more if you feel something for this man, your emotional response might get out of control and makes you get carried away without stopping to think about the consequences.
There are also doubts, knowing what his true intentions are. Is he sincere or is he playing me?
We will answer these and other questions and show you how to deal with this situation.
What does it mean when a married man says he loves you?
It means that whether he really loves you or not, he has serious intentions with you. And we meant serious, we’re talking about intimacy. This is something that he will try to avoid making it obvious. For, he wouldn’t want you to believe that he’s only interested in “that thing.”
There are cases when the man really have honest and pure feelings, but those are few.
To know about his true intentions, do this:
- Ask him about his wife. Tell him if he still loves her.
- See his reaction when you tell him that he’s married.
- Pay attention to where he directs his gaze when he says he loves you.
- Look for anxiety signs.
If he displays a very calm attitude, and look at different part of your body, be careful because he’s not truthful. But if he looks nervous, trembling and begin sweating, he may be telling the truth since those reactions are normal in a man that recognize he had an internal conflict between his marriage and new feelings.
When a married man says I love you?
Sounds a little bit like an old romantic song If we take the married word out. Does it ring a bell?
No. Well, if you weren’t born in the 80’s you wouldn’t know unless you love old music, but Michael Bolton fans were delighted when they heard his powerful voice singing such classic.
Here’s the song in case you haven’t heard it before:
In this case, it’s a married man who loves another woman. So, everything changes. It becomes complicated. When a married man expresses his love to you, you know deep inside nothing will be easy. His marital status is an impediment that neither you nor he should ignore.
Even if you have feelings for him, you should refrain yourself before making a stupid mistake. And we’re not saying this because we want to stop you in your tracks. On the contrary, we want to make sure that you step steadily on solid ground when start to move.
Why does he dare to confess his love to me?
Depending if his intentions are pure or not, let’s analyze this under two perspectives:
His love is genuine
A married man that in a way developed true and tender feelings towards another woman confesses because such a pure emotion cannot be hold back anymore.
First of all, a good spouse knows the severity of the situation. He’s not planning to abandon his family, specially if he has children. He’s aware of the responsibility that entails.
But he confesses his love because he gets to a point where he can’t hold it back any longer. This is a moment of frustration for him. His love erupts like a volcano and he can’t just help it get out of his chest.
He decides to make his move
Maybe he’s no serious about his feelings, but he’s attracted to you. He doesn’t want to waste more time – he might fear that someone else could make his move first. So, he can be a little anxious, and go aim to your heart by appealing to your emotions.
Men know they can trigger affection in some women, so they decide to “confess their love,” and tell you other things like they’re not receiving any love from his wife and that they’re not properly attended.
How to deal with this situation
Knowing that it’s very uncomfortable to deal with it, we’ve laid out some tips to help you manage yourself through it.
1. Don’t over-react
This is typical. He’s not proposing to you. He’s describing his feelings. Don’t think his confession is a push to get anything from you.
You need to remain calm and understand that this is serious, but not to the point to make a scene.
2. Don’t make fun of him
If the guy is truly getting it out of his chest is not courteous at all to tell jokes about it. It’s rude. And it creates a unfixable crack in your friendly relationship.
You can give him a warm smile to make him feel comfortable. Remember that this is a moment when he bears a lot of pressure. So, a gentle gesture does a lot to ease things up.
3. Don’t take it to heart
Although you should not make fun of him, you cannot take his confession too seriously to the point that upsets you. Remember that he’s married, and you don’t know yet what his true intentions are.
Also, don’t let your thoughts overwhelm your head. It will only bring speculations that means no good to you.
4. Always have in mind that he’s married
Whatever you do, never forget that he’s married. Even if you like this guy, you cannot let yourself carried away by your emotions. Maintain your calm and don’t act on your impulses.
5. Relax at home
After the confession, don’t let it ruin your day worrying about what will happen next. Keep cool and don’t alter your daily routine. When you get home, take a long and warm shower and relax. There’s plenty of time to deal with this situation which requires no immediate action.
Could he be lying to me?
Yes, there’s a possibility that he’s lying to seduce you, to make your guard down by appealing to your sensitivity. Men know that women are emotional. Certain women can get carried away when someone confesses their love, specially if they feel attracted to that person.
Sometimes, men use these kinds of tricks to present themselves honestly in order to erase any suspicions that might infer that they just want to get in your pants.
Because you have to remember something: he’s married, and yet he’s telling you that he loves you. He could later be telling the same thing to another woman.
There are occasions, of course, when a marriage goes down the hill, and the man’s love to his wife wanes. That’s when he may meet someone else and the flame of love reignites again.
But that doesn’t always happen. So, in this case, we recommend to move carefully. Don’t take it so seriously, but also don’t take it too lightly.
What some experts say about men lying
When it comes to lying, experts have their inputs. Either married or single, a pathological liar behaves the same. Thus, below are some great analysis from experts in the field that relate closely to this topic.
“If he carries two cellphones, and but one never rings or he uses it for texting only, those are all major red flags.”
Nancy Dreyfus, psychotherapist.
“Men tends to t get away with their lives. They have expertise in succeeding than women in lying.”
Brianna Verigin, researcher at Portsmouth, and the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands.
“There are changes in behavior you must not overlook. Those are: bodily movements, facial expressions, tone of voice and content of speech. They are codes of communication.”
Dr. Lillian Glass, body language expert.
A lair uses emotions for his tricks. He knows that people are emotional, specially women. That’s his ace card, and he will use it when he wants to hit on a woman.
Seeking for confirmation
To confirm that this is not a trick to seduce you, tell him that you need time to process everything he’s told you. Then, take things slowly. Watch him carefully, but don’t make it so obvious. Don’t let him know that you’re thinking about him all the time.
Also, don’t treat him with indifference. You can act normal like before but don’t ignore him blatantly.
When you feel it’s the proper time, ask him to have a cup of coffee together. During that time, focus the conversation on long-term goals, and see his reactions.
If he shows discomfort, he’s not serious. But if you clearly notices that he engages smoothly with your talking points, there may be something valuable there.
It will take time to really know if he’s truthful. But it’s better if you take it slowly. After all he’s a married man. There are other people involved directly and indirectly.
Can I trust a married man when he says that he loves me?
That’s totally up on you. We can’t force you to trust a married because if you feel something for him, it will be unstoppable. What we can do is to show you what to expect from this situation and how to deal with it.
We’re all individuals with free will. What we do always have consequences. In this case, what you should do is to see through it before they happen. It’s not complicated. You need to have common sense to figure it all.
There’s a risk, of course. The matters of the heart are unpredictable.
On the other hand, if you decide to believe him, it could be a possibility that he’s being honest about his feelings for you.
Is loving a married man wrong?
Not at all. Wrong is if you try to seduce him, knowing that you will wreak havoc in his marriage. When you hold in your heart sincere love towards someone married is a beautiful gift because you want this man to be happy even without you.
Can a married man loves you more than his wife?
Yes, it can happen. Though marriage is a covenant, being married doesn’t order on what you can feel. There have been, will always been cases when a man finds his love after he married someone else.
What to say to a married man you love?
First, don’t rush things. Take things slowly. And confirm what you feel is love and not infatuation. If it’s really love, and both of you trust each other, you can tell him that you deeply care about him. He would know what you mean.
But be advised, don’t expect anything from this situation. If you start imagining subjective realities of the future with this man, you will probably end up disappointed and hurt.
How do you know if a married man loves his mistress?
There are several clear signs. One is when he becomes jealous of his mistress when being surrounded by other men. Please check out the other signs in this article.
When affairs turn to love?
It happens when you start to miss your lover and want to spend more time together. Though all affair are in some way emotional whether the two involved admit it or not, depositing your trust in the other person is the starting point when an affair turns to love.
As we’ve implied throughout the article, you have to be sure if this man really loves you, and that he’s not playing with you. Once you have confirmed his true intentions, you should proceed as we explained.
To deal with this situation, apply our tips:
- Don’t over-react.
- Don’t make fun of him.
- Don’t take it to heart.
- Never forget that he’s married.
- Stay calm and relax at home.
The most important thing is not to hold false illusions. He’s married and committed to his wife. Keep that in mind!
There’s a small percentage when an married man left his wife for another woman he meets. It happens but not as usual as in those soap operas shows!