Are you considering to go on date with someone you like or feel attracted to? But the problem is that the man who invited you out is married.
That’s a big problem! Otherwise, you would not be here.
But don’t worry. we’ll not only advise you, we’ll also give you valuable information that will help you go through this situation.
Is it wrong to date a married man?
No woman should date a married man. It’s not only morally wrong, it also brings you a lot of suffering. When you date a married man, you will expose yourself to an eventual pain the moment you realize the truth behind the desire.
It’s understandable that some women find attracted to date older a man, but there will be painful consequences in the future.
If a woman let herself carried on, she can grow some feelings at some point, and end up falling in love for a married man. That’s one of the problems, but there are more, which I point out below.
What could go wrong if you date a married man?
Many things could surely go wrong. I understand that you might find this man irresistible. They way he talks or stares at you is probably shaking you. But I’m going to point out 10 reasons that will open your mind and once for all suppress the idea of dating a married man.
1. Developing romantic feelings
If you like this married man, there’s a big risk that you will develop feelings for him. As you both continue seeing each other (courtship), you can easily forget that he’s married.
Your mind will bed filled with love thoughts. You will get to a point where something that looks brief, now turned to into something deeper, where you will find yourself regularly thinking about this man.
However, you will eventually get to a point when loving a married hurts because you will realize that your feelings are not meat to be retributed.
2. Becoming the other woman
Is this what you want? Be the lover!
Is that it? Go ahead!!
But remember that lovers don’t have rights. Even they dedicated their time, they’re in no position to demand anything.
Any woman who becomes a lover has to know in advance that she isn’t his priority. It’ll save her some pain.
3. Breaking a family apart
Know that if you’re dating a married man, you’re just taking the course of breaking a family. You don’t want that specially if there are children involved.
Even if he has no children, you are forcibly placing yourself into a marriage that was blessed.
No matter if he’s facing marital problems and the marriage is down the hill, contributing to the breakup of marriage is unforgivable.
Because whether your admit it or not, you’re becoming a factor that is breaking the union. And such union is not also composed by the spouses but also by their relatives.
Bonds between two families will be destroyed. What once was one family joined by two people who decided to shared their lives together, now it’s over. And you will be remembered as the person who destroyed a home, and all the love, empathy between both families.
4. Getting pregnant
You wouldn’t want to get pregnant by a married man. This entails a lot of problems that not only involve you and him, but also his wife and family members from all parties.
When you get pregnant by a married man, your world turn upside down. You won’t know that what to do because the father already has a family. You will suffer a lot because you’re not either his wife or his girlfriend. You’re the LOVER!
And your child will suffer too because most married man don’t leave their wives when they cheat.
And if a wife leaves a cheater man, and he goes back to his lover to form a new family with his new child, his other children will suffer too. And that will be in your mind, punishing you as the person who caused his separation.
When you see consequences of dating a married, you’ll go through a series of feelings that bring depression. You will realize that the relationship is not going anywhere. It’s stuck where it just begins.
You may ask for more, but you won’t get it. He could promise you that one day things will be different, but they’re all lies. He’s married and probably have children, and you have no highlighted position in his life.
Realizing this will hit you hard like a spear in the heart. Knowing that the only thing that you could aspire is to share few moments with him (when he can escape from his wife) is heartbreaking.
When you date a married man, it has be in the shadows. Practically nobody you both know has to find out. Only strangers will be the witness of your relationship.
In time, this will make you feel sad; not only because you can’t share anything with anybody, but also because you know the fact that your relationship will have to remain in secret.
7. No serious relationship
When a married man is hitting on another woman is usually for pleasure. He has no serious intentions with her. He sees her as a source of entertainment. And that’s all.
This behavior is caused many reasons happing in his marriage. But that doesn’t mean that he’s considering to abandon his wife and children.
If the thought that he could leave his wife pops up into your mind, just watch the video below:
So, you have to see through it. Recognize what this married man really want. Most chances are, he just wants to spend a good time with you and probably extend it.
8. Uncertain future
Throw away the idea that one day he will come down to you and say he will abandon his wife and children to form a new family with you.
Less than 10% of married men leave their wives for another woman. And less that 5% from those men who does, has not a successful relationship with his new wife.
Now, aside from this statistics, ask yourself:
Does he really love me enough to make a decision to leave his family for me?
Also, see how your relationship with him has gone. Do you really think it will be healthy new life with him when all began by dating him when he was married?
Consider for a moment this fact: he is a cheater and you’re the lover. And then you will have clear idea if you will have a good future with him.
9. Committing sin
This is again God’s will:
you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife
And it applies to both: husband and wife.
If you’re not a religious person, ask yourself if it’s okay to hit on a woman’s husband.
It’s totally understandable if you like this man, but does it justify to date him knowing the consequences that may bring?
If you’re a righteous person, you will say no!
There’s no justification to start a relationship with a married man which has a great chance to break his family. If he insists, you have the obligation to remind him that he has a wife and owns her respect and loyalty.
I recommend reading this article: 3 reasons to never covet anything
It will help you get over your desires for this married man.
10. Close doors to real opportunities
Do you really want to waste valuable time, and close the doors that open for you?
That normally happens when you date a married and starts a romantic relationship with him.
You shut down possibilities to have a REAL relationship. And some women realize this hard truth too late. They end up hurt with low self-esteemed and unbearable feeling that they have wasted an important time of their lives.
Is it wrong to date a married man who’s separated?
Even so! He’s still married. As long as he’s legally united to his wife, you must not date him for any reason at all.
If you like him, you should wait until he’s divorced and over everything that is related to his marriage.
And don’t pressure him. Don’t even mention the word divorce. As implied before, you cannot meddle with his marriage.
Can I date him when he’s officially and legally separated?
Yes, you can. But don’t jump upon him immediately. There are many things you have to consider:
- Why did he get divorce?
- Which problems were so unsolvable that cause the separation?
- What will happen to his children if he have any?
- How healthy was his relationship with his ex?
You have to know the answers of all these queries before dating him, and begin a serious relationship. He has a past, and it’s your duty, for your own good, to find out who he really is and why his marriage didn’t work.
Why is it wrong to date a married man?
First of all, you cannot be the cause of a separation. As I said, you must avoid at all cost to be a family breaker. You have to think above your own feelings.
Also, dating a married will probably bring you nothing more than suffering because you can get hooked up and grow feelings. And it’s not worth it since there’s no future in the horizon.
If not convinced yet, let’s review some hard facts:
- He sleep with his wife every night.
- He spends most of his time with his wife.
- His wife and children are his priorities.
- He’s already committed to his wife with his soul and mind.
If this is not enough for you, better go out and breath in some fresh air because you need it to think clearly in order to give yourself some value.
Dating a married man: Reasons
When you ask this questions is because there are two reasons:
- You feel attracted to him. Or;
- He’s been asking you out and you’re considering it.
Feeling attracted to married man
Many people feel attracted to other people. And their marital status don’t matter. But self-control does. Self-control diferenciante us from other creatures. We’re supposed to restrain from basic impulses and act responsibly.
There are always consequences to face. So, think about it when you feel that the attraction is pulling you to do things you will eventually regret.
Dealing with a date proposal from a married man
Rejecting a married man is not hard. He’s married! If he doesn’t take it with grace, remind his marital status. It will stop him in his tracks.
And what about if he insists?
Reject him twice. You’re not compelled to please.
Make it look like it really is. Tell him that he’s united to a woman who he promised to be faithful with.
How to stop dating a married man
For those of you who are now suffering the consequences of dating a married, and can’t stop doing it because of weakness – that’s what romance entanglement causes – here are some steps that will put a end to that relationship.
Check your life
You need to come back to reality. Think about how bad this relationship is. Also, think about how your life was before dating this man and how it is now. Look within yourself and see if you’re really feeling fine.
Improve your self-esteem
Suppress the thought that you’re with this married man because it’s only what you deserved. You don’t have to think that you will not be able to find someone else. Keep this in mind: there’s a different between loving someone and loving being in a relationship.
And the later is the one that makes some women to adjust to the situation of being the other woman. So, think that you’re valuable and the best is yet to come so that you cannot diminish yourself.
Value your future
Now you know this relationship has no future. It was doomed from the beginning. You’re stuck and the clock is ticking. Don’t let pass opportunities that come your way because you’re in a standstill position.
Fill your void with something or someone worth
Most women get into a relationship with married man because some lack in their lives, but they really don’t know what. Find out how you can fill that void you have with this married man.
Figure why you are lonely
When you’re alone, instead of drowning in sorrow, ask yourself why you’re alone. This is good for you because mind affirms the hard reality: he’s a married man who is now with his wife and children.
Recognize that you’re the lover
To recognize this, look at yourself in the mirror for a moment and say I’m the love and I can’t take the place of his wife. This makes you realize that you’re the second woman who has demands on his life.
Stop lying to yourself
Since you are his mistress, he won’t acknowledge you as his girlfriend. You’re relationship is in the shadows. Everything you do with him is in secret. So, don’t let yourself be fooled by the pleasures that the secret relationship produces. And face the fact that nothing serious and meaningful will form.
Cut all ties
To free yourself from this affair, tell him to never try to contact you again. Stop messaging him and unfollow him from all your social media profiles. If he texts you, don’t reply.
Recover your life
You probably have put on hold many things while being in this relationship. Now it’s time to get back and be productive. Reconnect with your loved ones. Meet new people. You will probably find someone who will value you, and most importantly, who’s not already taken.
To provide you with more insights about the topic, I want to share some other related questions that I think it will show you what you’re facing when dating a married man.
Is there a really ethical way to date a married man?
There’s no really an ethical way. When you a married man asks you out, there’s romance or desire involved. Nothing else.
You should that this married man have clear intentions with you. And no matter you mind can make it, deep down you aware of it.
What do you call a woman who dates a married man?
Technically, a mistress. Or, put it simply, a lover. You become the other woman who provides pleasure to a married man.
This woman is not entitled to anything beyond intimacy she has with him. She’s the second in the row so to speak.
What are the benefits of dating a married man?
There are actually no benefits at all. What you might see as benefits are illusions that will never come true.
If what you’re looking for by dating a married man is just having no commitment, maybe that might one benefit. But as implied before, it’s not a game to date a man that has a wife and possibly children.
Why do I always fall for a married man?
Because most of the time what some women see as a viable prospect is just a projection of their insecurities. In other words, they see in husbands what they’re comfortable with (one is the fear of commitment).
But that’s a mask. Because behind those insecurities there are desires that a married man cannot fulfill. That’s the main reason why everything turns bad for the woman.
Will I get hurt if I date a married man?
Surely that will be the end result. If you invest feelings in a relationship with a married man, nothing good will come out of it. You will be waste precious time and put energy into something that has no future.
Wanting to date someone you know you can’t is somehow difficult. The reason you asked this question is pretty obvious that you have doubts if you should proceed.
But now you know what you are getting into in case you date him:
- Falling in love with him.
- Accept you are the lover.
- Become a family breaker.
- The possibility of getting pregnant.
- Maintain a secret relationship.
- Relationship based on pleasure.
- No future.
- Go against God’s will.
- Stuck in something not worth it.
As you can see, it’s better to pass over men who are already married. Let someone without commitment with anyone come to your life. Someone who’s willing to share his life with you.