Loving a married man implies that you, as the other woman, come second. That’s why it hurts so much. He’s not going to be there at night, you can’t go to public places with him, he’ll miss special dates, and most importantly deep inside you know there’s no going to be any future.
So, I’m going to give you some great tips to stop suffering for a married man!
I love a married man and it hurts – How to stop suffering
Since you are aware that most certainly that man is not going to be yours because another woman came first, you have to focus on what you want for a stable life. So, you need to address your emotional well-being. That is a priority you must take care of.
Project yourself
You should leave behind that traumatic love story by taking on new possibilities. Go out and meet other people! Know that probably that the man you love doesn’t deserve your suffering. And if you both have been together for some time, and he hasn’t done anything relevant to start a new life with you, he won’t do it.
He won’t leave his wife unless he really loves you too. And there is a poor chance it will occur especially if there are children involved.
Don’t believe his lies
Most married men who don’t plan to leave their wives will use lies to keep their lovers near. They would say that eventually, they will leave their spouses.
And because you love him, you’ll be tempted to believe him. But don’t buy it. A married man who is willingly having an affair will rarely consider leaving his wife for another woman. This a very important element to consider before you start sleeping with a married man.
Don’t imagine happy scenarios with him
Value yourself and stop holding on to that married man. Stop fantasizing about him when he stares at you. If you keep thinking that one day you will have a happy life together, you will suffer more when reality hits you in the face.
Consider that the mind can play with you using your feelings.
Think about yourself
This is the time to be selfish, to care for your own necessities. This type of situation consumes you and robs your energy. Keep in mind that there is something better to achieve: inner peace.
And you will never have it if you spend your days suffering for someone who will never be with you.
Connect with your suffering
As hard as it may sound, recognize that feeling because it lingers on and can surface when you decide to give your heart again to another man in the same circumstance you are right now.
So, if you meet another man in the future, and even tell him that you love him, but he doesn’t retribute your love, you will know right from the beginning to walk away to spare the suffering.
Take control of your life
Your goal is to recover your high self-esteem and good personality. And the best way to respect yourself. And if you’re going to open your heart to a man, make sure that he corresponds to it.
Dignity cannot be negotiated. If you are suffering for a married man, your duty is to get up and overcome it.
Loving someone can hurt. Take this as a learning experience to avoid falling for the same mistake again. Make out of this situation a great life lesson that you pass.
Learning experience
As I said above, this is a good opportunity for the learning experience. This life is not rainbows and sunshine. Though there are beautiful things, we’re going to deal with very difficult situations. And we don’t have to succumb to them. On the contrary, we have to learn from them.
That’s what life is about. We fall, then rise, and keep on. It sounds easier said than done. True! But that’s the deal. Take it or leave it. Get up or give up! And winners never give up!
So, what can you learn from this:
This will certainly not kill you though you may feel you can’t go on. People are not slaves to thoughts. Times heals. When you move on, and start interacting with other people, that pain will adjust it. It can be there, but it won’t paralyze you or absorb your mind.
Without knowing you’ll become strong. You would develop a resiliency that was never there before.
Maturity
Although you fell for an impossible love, which is a signal for immaturity, through suffering you’ll grow as a person. This situation makes you see those little things in life that nobody taught you.
And when you face this situation, the shade of innocence smokes out. You will eventually realize that love is something more than just having a romantic relationship with somebody. It also implies loving yourself.
Build your character
What’s a better way to build your character by going through hard situations? When we suffer, God tests us. He wants to develop the tools that manage life.
And one of them is to build your character. When you do it, you have control over your life. Your decisions are based on logic and have a clear and reasonable purpose.
Control your emotions
When are you overcoming this suffering, you’re also learning to control your emotions. Immature people let themselves be carried away by emotions. They don’t see past the suffering. That’s why stuck in it, feeling the same pain over and over.
Since the core of the suffering is emotions, by controlling them, you will react better if you ever face something similar. It can hurt again, but it won’t bring you to your knees.
Things to avoid when you are suffering for a married man
In the process of healing from the suffering, here 5 things you should avoid at all cost:
Ask him to leave his wife
Never at any moment ask him to leave his wife. First of all, he’s possibly not going to do it. And the second but not least, you will be meddling in the life of a couple.
If you create havoc in that relationship thinking it will be in your favor, you’re fooling yourself. You could break his marriage, but you will also be breaking your morals and principles.
Make him the center of your life
In order to ease the pain, the center of your life has to be YOU! As stated, you have to be selfish this time and think about yourself.
Most of the time, the priority of married men is their wives and children. That’s the way it is. Remember you’re the other woman, so you come second. So it’s you who needs to be at the top of your own priorities.
Wait for him
Toss away the idea that someday he will be with you. Even if he declares it at one point. Take it with a grain of salt if you want. But don’t waste your life waiting for a man who is already taken.
Be around his close circle
Some women tend to be around their cause of suffering to somehow nurture what they’re feeling. That’s how they compensate for the time they ask.
But that will only increase the suffering. Later when you get home, you’ll know that he will be with his wife. And the thought of it will torture you even more.
Idolize what you’re feeling towards him
Don’t try to idolize the feelings you have for this man. That will make you believe that you only can be happy with him. You will close the doors to other opportunities that life has to offer.
Getting professional help
You can overcome this by yourself. But if you think you need extra support you can consult with a psychologist.
There are professionals that can advise you to get through the pain. They will:
- Help you recover your self-esteem.
- Make you see value in you so that you can get your dignity back.
- Give you a specific task to continue with your life.
- Teach you to be independent.
- Show you how to control your life.
What you must avoid is taking antidepressants. They’re not good. They will only mask the problem and make you addicted to them. If a professional prescribes them, look for a second opinion.
You can also talk to a close friend who serves as a support to get things out of your chest. Sometimes what you need is just somebody willing to listen to you.
Conclusion
It’s so painful when you love somebody who is married. The suffering can be unbearable because you know he won’t be yours. But there are ways to overcome that suffering:
- Project yourself in a positive way.
- Don’t hold on empty promises (lies).
- Clear your thoughts of illusions.
- Take care of yourself first.
- Recognize the suffering.
- Control your life.
The important thing is that you have to see that this is not the end of your life. Another door will be open to you. If it happens this way, it is because it wasn’t meant to be. There are other good things coming your way. You must get yourself up and take joy in what life has to offer.