To love somebody and know that it is impossible to be with that person is extremely hard. Emotions spill all over, and you don’t know how to deal with the pain.
Whatever reason may be that you both cannot be together, it’s not the end of the world. And if you’re suffering, there are ways to overcome the feelings of sadness and despair.
I found my soulmate but we can’t be together – What to do?
You must carry on. People are not slaves to thoughts and desires. When it happens is just weakness and lack of character. What you need to do is to become stronger mentally.
And what about the suffering?
To help you with that, I’m going to detail 7 proven tips to overcome the pain.
How to deal with not being with your soulmate
These are 7 actionable steps to help you move on and forget about the pain.
Take care of yourself
When you’re emotionally suffering, the pain makes you forget about your wellness. The pain becomes the focus. And you’re blind to see it.
To start overcoming your pain and move on, you should lead a productive life. Go to the gym or begin jogging in the mornings. If you’re a woman, get a new hairstyle or a massage in the spa.
As for men, get together with friends. Play some sports or go to the movies.
Don’t let blame consume you
While in pain, your thoughts trick you. They can make you feel worse by picturing ideas where you are the cause of the suffering.
It justifies that you must suffer for something you have done. But know that you haven’t caused anything bad. Feeling hurt for a love that is not retributed, is entirely on your emotions.
Your end goal is to control them. Don’t let them dictate your life!
Keep things in perspective
You have to be realistic about what has happened to you. When things are not meant to be is certainly for the better. It’s not a punishment. It’s part of the circle of life.
If this person you love is already taken, you know that it was impossible from the start. Or if the motive is something more related to distance, perhaps your paths should not cross.
Besides, how do you this person was your “soulmate”?
It is just sheer obsession or just desire.
Love is much more than a romantic relationship. You can still love this person and feel fine without being together.
Stay away from alcohol and drugs
Never embrace alcohol and drugs to wash off your pain. It won’t make you ease or forget the pain at all. It will only make you an addict. It’s a self-abuse.
People who let themselves consume alcohol and drugs just make things worse. Eventually, they will have abused their body and mind so much that later they will realize it has not worked out.
And sadly, they might figure that the only way to the misery is to continue the abuse until these substances take their lives.
Talk to a close friend
If you have a confidant, make good use of him. He or she might have gone through the situation. That would come in handy to give good insights to overcome it.
Most importantly, this person will understand you and will not make fun of you or make you feel worse.
However, if this is a good person, he will point out some mistakes in case you made them. And he will do it just for the purpose of highlighting the truth.
Good confidants listen but also point out the truth no matter if it hurts. You don’t need someone who enables what’s wrong. You need someone that makes you see the reasons behind the suffering so that you can get through it, and come out as a better person.
Go out and meet some people
The idea of meeting some people is not to start a relationship, but rather to clear your mind of hurting thoughts and bring you back to society.
Being depressed can easily isolate you, and make you a recluse of your own suffering. So, you need to breathe in fresh air, interact with people, and start feeling valuable again as a person.
Look for professional support
If the pain is too much, there are support groups that could help in your community. You don’t have to tell all the details of your suffering in front of the group, just feel the support and warmth.
Another way is to talk to a psychologist or counselor. The main idea is to have somebody who listens and understands what you’re going through.
Learn to cope with the reality
knowing that it’s impossible to be with your “soulmate” can be life-altering. You really feel your life could go down the hill. The pain could be so intense that it can consume you every day.
You may find yourself isolated from the world around you or struggling to maintain healthy relationships with your friends and family.
To cope with the fact that you will never be with the person you supposedly love so much, it is important to engage in self-care. This involves taking care of your physical needs as well as your mental health needs.
Check out the following great guide to help you deal with emotional crisis:
Six-step guide for mental health diagnosishttps://t.co/OGu6oSKCU3— The Indian Express (@IndianExpress) June 13, 2022
Remember that grief is a process that takes time. While you let time heal the wound, make good use of the tips I just described.
Communicate your feelings to the people you care about
While going through the suffering, you may feel lonely and isolated from the world around you. If this is the case, it is important to seek support.
As mentioned in one of the tips, it is imperative to spend time with friends and family who will listen to you. They can also offer suggestions on how to cope with your situation.
You can also ask the closest friends and family members in your life for help and support. Ask them if they would mind coming over for dinner or if they would like to go to a movie together.
Spending time with people who care about you will help you feel less alone during this difficult time.
To help you better understand your situation, here are some of the common related questions people in your position also ask:
Can you be soulmates but not together?
Yes, sometimes you could meet somebody and you end up developing strong feelings. But this probably is already married or suddenly passed away. Loving someone is not a guarantee that a relationship will blossom.
Also, this is a perception. Sometimes, you call someone “soulmate” because the love you feel is so intense. And the chemistry between you both is great.
What happens when soulmates break up?
It’s a new opportunity to open to new experiences life has for you. Sometimes when you’re too attached to somebody, you live by that person, renouncing too many great things along the way.
So, breaking up doesn’t have to be all bad. It can hurt, but take it as a new chance to reconnect with yourself and see what other doors open for you.
Do soulmates always meet again?
It could be that your paths cross again in the future with the person you love. It happens when people have long relationships.
In the spiritual concept, it is believed that if you truly love somebody in this life, you’re going to meet him/her in the next life. Probably not in the same physical form, but in a spiritual way.
How long do soulmate relationships last?
All relationships go through problems. The idea is, if it’s worth fighting for it, to solve them. So, the time is agreement between you and your partner.
If you believe, regarded you both are willing to be together and that you are made for each other, your relationship will last a lifetime.
Will I find another love that can be possible?
Sure. Life always gives us new opportunities. What we have to do is be alert when they show up. Many people don’t see them because they’re still trapped in the past, and don’t want to let it go away.
As I’ve implied, I understand the pain that comes and linger on when you can’t be with the person you deeply love. But remember that there’s life beyond the suffering. You just need to harness your willpower and know that you are a valuable person.
Practice the solutions I pointed out:
- Prioritize your physical and emotional health.
- Don’t blame yourself.
- Be realistic.
- Don’t take alcohol and drugs.
- Get support from a confidant.
- Hang around with friends.
- Talk to a counselor.
With time you will recover. Time certainly heals! And probably you will laugh about the time you were suffering for a supposedly soulmate!
Important note: Here’s a wonderful tip that you can try to clear your thoughts and gain some peace of mind.