Can A Married Man Still Love His Ex?

Thinking their husbands can still love their ex is something that some wives are afraid of. This leads to distrust and fights, creating cracks in the marriage.

That’s why it’s important to know for sure if he still loves his ex, and what to do about it.

Can a married man still love his ex?

A married man can still love his ex as a person. Love is universal. When you truly love somebody, you wish him or her the best whoever that person is with.

Romantically speaking, he might harbor some feelings for his ex-wife. Remember what they say:

Old flames die hard

But, if he’s married to you now, it means that for some reason he decided to start a new life with you.

How do you know if your husband still loves his ex?

Here are 10 signs he still loves his ex:

1. Keep photos and gifts

It’s okay if he has one picture of her in her phone or in a drawer. That normally occurs if it is recent. But if he keeps dozens of photos in his phone and computer, and doesn’t want to delete them, is obvious that he wants to keep her in his mind.

The same happens with gifts he refuses to throw them away. He still wants to remember. And that implies that feelings are still present.

2. Talks a lot about her

This is one of the most clear signs. He brings her up even when he talks about unrelated matters. He can even make a comparison between you and his ex.

Since it’s sometimes difficult to forget someone, that image of the person you used to love shows up unconsciously in your mind.

3. Mood changes

Provided he and his ex ended up as friends if he gets nervous when she’s around or tries to call her attention in some way, he – even without realizing it – is acting out his inner feelings.

4. Keep the same routine

If he wants to do the same things he did with his ex – that includes visiting the same places, listening to the songs that they both loved and so on – he just brings up past memories.

It’s normal that when someone moves on or wants to forget some old love, he wants to do different things to create new memories.

5. Get angry when his ex finds a romantic partner

If he shows signs of rage mixed with sadness, it’s perfectly okay if you’re suspicious. No man should get angry when his ex finds another love unless he still feels something for her.

6. He uses you to make her jealous

This situation has happened and will continue to happen. If you notice that you are shown as an object in front of his ex, it could possibly mean that he’s trying to tell his ex what she missed.

A behavior like this signifies that he still gives some importance to the relationship he had with his ex. For some reason, he has not moved on yet (he probably cares about her.).

However, you cannot entirely diminish the possibility that his past relationship was turbulent. He probably was dumped because his ex thought that he was not worth it.

Now he got you. And he just wants to make sure that his ex sees that he found another who can really appreciate him.

So, you have to analyze this sign very carefully to truly figure out what’s the reason behind it.

7. He texts her and calls her

Though he’s not with her, he’s still in contact through text messages or direct calls. He could send her text messages on her birthday, holidays, or special days they both used to hold dear.

However, before jumping to any conclusion, there might be some reason behind that you haven’t considered yet. The way to solve this is through communication.

In the video below some of the reasons are brought up:

8. He likes or comments on her social profiles

If he doesn’t only like or comment, but also carefully follows her publications, he hasn’t forgotten about her. His ex lingers on his head.

It doesn’t mean that he has to unfollow her from his social groups, but following each post with special and dedicated attention is by no means a clear sign that he has moved on.

9. He confesses that he misses his ex

This might seem incredible, but it happens. When a person is under the influence of alcohol, he or she tells the truth. That’s the only benefit of it so to speak.

He may say that he misses her or he’s just confused.

The most appropriate thing to do is communicate clearly about the insecurities you and him have. In all relationships, communications have to be a priority. They won’t fix all the issues, but you will sure get resolutions.

10. He’s in touch with her family

He doesn’t cut any ties with his ex-family members. He keeps them close as if nothing had happened, intending to feel like the relationship was not over.

Why does a married man still love his ex?

First of all, studies show that men view their ex-partners more favorably than women do. After a marriage breaks up, there are always breadcrumbs. So, no matter if he had a terrible relationship, there could be good experiences that he and his ex shared.

Those moments are sometimes so powerful that it is inevitable that they could resurface in the mind at some point. It doesn’t mean he will go and run back to her. But memories can linger on for some time.

Also, the feelings of loss and curiosity kick in. Sometimes he just wonders how things would have turned out if something different was done. But he’s just dealing with trauma and emotional aftermath.

What should I do as the wife?

The first thing to do is NOT overreact.

Review the signs I have laid out to see if he still feels something for his ex. In case he does, communication is always the way to reach a valid resolution.

You and your husband need to get it out of your chest and be honest. When feelings, insecurities, and desires are placed on the table, both will have a clear view and will know on the grounds you stand.

Also, always be calm. Don’t start a fight that could easily scale. Sometimes, what he feels is just the dependence from the old relationship with his ex.

Related questions

Probably you want to know more. Here are some of the common questions that wives ask regarding the topic of the ex.

Can you love someone who still loves his ex?

Yes. What you feel for that person is not going to disappear even if he still loves his ex. You have feelings for him no matter if you have not moved on yet.

The thing is how long you are going to going to wait for him. You are a valid person that needs to be loved. So if you’re willing to invest in a relationship, he should too.

Can a married man be in love with someone else?

He can develop romantic feelings and eventually fall in love with another woman. If it’s his ex, there might be some unresolved issues that can drive him to harbor feelings towards her.

In any case, this means that he does not completely love his wife. He has doubts and insecurities that may prolong over time.

How do you know he’s not over his ex?

He shows signs. Some of them are very clear that usually, you don’t have to look further. To be sure, look if his behavior suddenly changes, especially when talks about the ex.

Also, check out the 10 signs that I have detailed above. They will tell you exactly what you want to know.

Can he leave me for his ex?

No precisely. If he had a stormy relationship with his ex, deep inside he doesn’t want to go through the same experience again.

What he mostly shows are reactions due to either unresolved marital issues or because of trauma and even emotional distress.


Though he can still have some feelings for his ex, it doesn’t mean that he will leave you. Of course, this is a problem that you both need to talk about.

Remember to go through the signs to know for sure if he has not moved on yet and looking backward:

  • He saved all the souvenirs, photos, and gifts.
  • He still talks about her.
  • Mood changes.
  • Maintain the same routine.
  • He still keeps communication with her.
  • Get mad when his ex finds another love.
  • Use you to provoke jealousy.
  • Roam the ex’s social profiles.
  • Say he misses her.
  • Still in touch with his ex’s family circle.

Keep in mind that there might be some trauma that he hasn’t resolved yet. So, he will need your support!

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