A married man is not inmune to what a single man faces. When you get married, you don’t unfortunately cut off those human reactions that manifest in the interaction with other people.
But if you, as the wife, are concerned that your husband can get obsessed and may end up developing true love feelings just from an obsession, I invite you read on and also learn the 7 signs a man show when he is obsessed with another woman.
Can a married man be obsessed with another woman?
Yes, it happens. A married man can get so obsessed with another woman that he could go to the extreme to reverence. He could admire her or think that there’s no other like her.
He could even think that she is the soulmate he always wanted.
But that’s not love. It’s infatuation!
If you think your husband is going to fall in love with another woman just from a state of infatuation, you’re most likely going to suffer in vain. Almost always these cases are resolved by themselves. It just needs time for the that infatuation feeling to fade off.
7 Signs a married man is so obsessed with another woman
The connection between you and him dwindle. You notice that the attention towards you wane day after day. You used to have him all over you. But right he looks distant like miles away.
Even in the intimacy, you also notice that something is not going right. He is physically there, but he’s not really there!
Here’s how you can connect again with your husband:
2. Physical interaction
You see that he’s not into it like he used to. You could just mention it and that was just enough for him to take you to bed. But now you feels like you have to beg him.
And at the same time, you see he has become more affectionate to other people or to a particular friend. And if you know the woman he’s obsessed with, you can notice that he does whatever it takes to be next to her, even to provoke a slight touch of skin with her.
You and him start getting into more frequent fights though everything in your relationship looks good. Even petty arguments turn into big quarrels.
He get angry easily, and complain a lot about trivial things. He also start criticizing you. He might said that he doesn’t like how you kiss him or touch him. And when you ask him what is wrong, he doesn’t answer and walk out.
Sometimes the arguing escalates and everything get out of hands.
Now, watch the following video where you learn 3 simple steps to avoid fighting with your husband:
He might gets quite defensive and starts an argument with you for no reason other than mentioning some trigger word. For example, when you comment about infidelity.
You see him walking all over the house, very anxious that if you dare to question him, he might turn mad or just lock himself in another room.
5. Hide his phone
He doesn’t want you to use his phone. He changes the password constantly. And when you use the computer after him, you see that he had just deleted the browsing history.
6. Monitor her social media
He checks everything she uploads to her social media profiles, engaging with them with likes and comments. He even checks things she uploaded years ago.
And when he gets a notification telling that she uploads something new, he can’t help taking out his phone.
7. Forget his duties
One of the most clear signs of his obsession is that he forgets important things. His mind is so absorbed with the obsession that it is spreading like a disease.
Eventually, he can even overlook his duties consciously. At that stage, he gives in because it is liberating not hiding it anymore. Here’s where things can get really complicated.
Most of the time, if he feels love for her, it will not be reciprocated. Sometimes it’s just a platonic love. But the important thing is that there’s a little chance that the other woman will be interested.
He then might go through a stage of suffering. It’s a common reaction when your love is rejected. And as transformational coach Manj Bahra states in his article “Why We Struggle To Move On From Unrequited Love“, it takes a lot of effort to move on.
Real life is not like some romantic movies. When a married man get so obsessed with another woman, he does things that scare her off. Even if she likes to be around him, his obsession instead of getting her close will ultimately frighten her.
How to get over an unrequited love
If you’re a man going through this situation, you will get good use of these tips. If you’re a married woman whose husband got so obsessed by another woman, you can help him by guiding. The key is to help him regain his sense again.
There’s no better to forget an unrequited love by keeping yourself busy. Focus on you work and on people who loves you. Give them some of your time.
As the wife, try to get him outside with you. If you both have children, go out and do things you used to love. Remind him how happy he felt in the beginning of your relationship.
Before getting dragged down by the obsession, keep in mind that the other woman doesn’t’ have to respond to your feelings. Nobody chooses their feelings. They just happen. So, if she doesn’t feel the same, don’t think of her as the villain.
Also, don’t think that she doesn’t deserve your love or try to change with the expectation to have her love you back. It won’t happen.
As the wife, you need to tell him that he just has an obsession. That is not real love. You can tell him to interact with her if he wants.
Sometimes when the obsessed man interact openly with ‘the object of his obsession’, he can see some flaws on the person he had overlooked. And when his mind start to acknowledge them, the obsession waned because he’s seeing the real person not the fabricated fantasy.
Keep yourself away
Avoid contact with her. Don’t call her, don’t text her, don’t even look at her social profiles. The advice is to get away from the ‘object of obsession.’
The wife can hep him get distance from her obsession by proposing a family trip. That’s a great way to integrate him again into the core of the family where he should be.
This is not just a norm. It has value. You pray to God to clear your mind so that you can really see. Sometimes the problems with obsession derived from a confused mind by situations faced in life.
You can also pray as the wife because this affects the whole family. When your husband is trapped in an unhealthy reverence towards somebody else, it can shake the pillars of your home and hurt the close family members that want the best for both of you.
When the obsession doesn’t diminish or turns into something more serious, you may find your lost, with doubts and questions. Here are couple of them that might pops up to your head when things seem to go south.
What if my husband doesn’t get over his obsession?
It means that he is still a child. He doesn’t grow up yet, he lives in fairy tales. Or he currently goes through those midlife crisis. Pay attention to his behavior. Is he acting like a teenager? Does he get together with his friends to go wild bachelor parties?
The best you can do is to let him take the fall. That’s the only way that he will see his mistake.
In many relationships, the only way a person can see the mistakes he or she is making is by allowing him to stumble. Reality hits hard. But when it happens, it can open your eyes.
What if he falls in love with her?
It means that he didn’t love you in the first place. Or he didn’t love you with the same intensity as you’ve loved him. Whatever the case is, you should take it as an adult. If his love is unrequited, the worst thing he may face will be humiliation. And then you have to evaluate your relationship.
Now that you know that obsession is not only possible but also can make a man lose his mind. Pay carefully attention to see if he shows those signs I’ve described.
It’s very important to assess the obsession to properly address the problem once he’s showing clear signs. Most of the time, as stated, it’s just infatuation and the man just needs time to really see that it’s not love.