It’s understandable to feel uncomfortable when a married man says that he loves you. He’s married, and you know that will cause trouble.
Even more, if you feel something for this man, your emotional response might get out of control and make you get carried away without stopping to think about the consequences.
There are also doubts about knowing what his true intentions are. Is he sincere or is he playing me?
We will answer these and other questions and show you how to deal with this situation.
What does it mean when a married man says he loves you?
It means that whether he loves you or not, he has serious intentions with you. And we’re also talking about intimacy. This is something that he will try to avoid. For, he wouldn’t want you to believe that he’s only interested in “that thing.”
There are cases when the man has honest and pure feelings, but those are few.
To know about his true intentions, do this:
- Ask him about his wife. Tell him if he still loves her.
- See his reaction when you tell him that he’s married.
- Pay attention to where he directs his gaze when he says he loves you.
- Look for anxiety signs.
If he displays a very calm attitude and looks at different parts of your body, be careful because he’s not truthful. But if he looks nervous, trembling, and begins sweating. He may be telling the truth since those reactions are normal in a man who recognizes he has an internal conflict between his marriage and new feelings.
When a married man says ‘I love you’
Sounds a little bit like an old romantic song If we take the married word out. Does it ring a bell?
No. Well, if you weren’t born in the 80’s you wouldn’t know unless you love old music, but Michael Bolton fans were delighted when they heard his powerful voice singing such a classic.
Here’s the song in case you haven’t heard it before:
In this case, it’s a married man who loves another woman. So, everything changes. It becomes complicated. When a married man expresses his love to you, you know deep inside nothing will be easy. His marital status is an impediment that neither you nor he should ignore.
Even if you have feelings for him, you should refrain before making a stupid mistake. And we’re not saying this because we want to stop you in your tracks. On the contrary, we want to make sure that you step steadily on solid ground when start to move.
Why does he dare to confess his love to me?
Depending if his intentions are pure or not, let’s analyze this from two perspectives:
His love is genuine
A married man who in a way developed true and tender feelings towards another woman confesses because such a pure emotion cannot be held back anymore.
First of all, a good spouse knows the severity of the situation. He’s not planning to abandon his family, especially if he has children. He’s aware of the responsibility that entails.
But he confesses his love because he gets to a point where he can’t hold it back any longer. This is a moment of frustration for him. His love erupts like a volcano and he can’t just help it get out of his chest.
He decides to make his move
Maybe he’s not serious about his feelings, but he’s attracted to you. He doesn’t want to waste more time – he might fear that someone else could make his move first. So, he can be a little anxious, and go aim to your heart by appealing to your emotions.
Men know they can trigger affection in some women, so they decide to “confess their love,” and tell you other things like they’re not receiving any love from his wife and that they’re not properly attended.
How to deal with this situation
Knowing that it’s very uncomfortable to deal with it, we’ve laid out some tips to help you manage yourself through it.
1. Don’t over-react
This is typical. He’s not proposing to you. He’s describing his feelings. Don’t think his confession is a push to get anything from you.
You need to remain calm and understand that this is serious, but not to the point of making a scene.
2. Don’t make fun of him
If the guy is truly getting it out of his chest is not courteous at all to tell jokes about it. It’s rude. And it creates an unfixable crack in your friendly relationship.
You can give him a warm smile to make him feel comfortable. Remember that this is a moment when he bears a lot of pressure. So, a gentle gesture does a lot to ease things up.
3. Don’t take it to heart
Although you should not make fun of him, you cannot take his confession too seriously to the point that upsets you. Remember that he’s married, and you don’t know yet what his true intentions are.
Also, don’t let your thoughts overwhelm your head. It will only bring speculations that mean no good to you.
4. Always have in mind that he’s married
Whatever you do, never forget that he’s married. Even if you like this guy, you cannot let yourself be carried away by your emotions. Maintain your calm and don’t act on your impulses.
5. Relax at home
After the confession, don’t let it ruin your day worrying about what will happen next. Keep cool and don’t alter your daily routine. When you get home, take a long and warm shower and relax. There’s plenty of time to deal with this situation which requires no immediate action.
Could he be lying to me?
Yes, there’s a possibility that he’s lying to seduce you, to make your guard down by appealing to your sensitivity. Men know that women are emotional. Certain women can get carried away when someone confesses their love, especially if they feel attracted to that person.
Sometimes, men use these kinds of tricks to present themselves honestly to erase any suspicions that might infer that they just want to get in your pants.
Because you have to remember something: he’s married, and yet he’s telling you that he loves you. He could later be telling the same thing to another woman.
There are occasions, of course, when a marriage goes down the hill, and the man’s love for his wife wanes. That’s when he may meet someone else and the flame of love reignites again.
But that doesn’t always happen. So, in this case, we recommend to move carefully. Don’t take it so seriously, but also don’t take it too lightly.
What some experts say about men lying
When it comes to lying, experts have their input. Whether married or single, a pathological liar behaves the same. Thus, below are some great analyses from experts in the field that relate closely to this topic.
“If he carries two cellphones, but one never rings or he uses it for texting only, those are all major red flags.”
Nancy Dreyfus, psychotherapist.
“Men tends to t get away with their lives. They have expertise in succeeding than women in lying.”
Brianna Verigin, researcher at Portsmouth, and the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands.
“There are changes in behavior you must not overlook. Those are bodily movements, facial expressions, tone of voice and content of speech. They are codes of communication.”
Dr. Lillian Glass, body language expert.
A lair uses emotions for his tricks. He knows that people are emotional, especially women. That’s his ace card, and he will use it when he wants to hit on a woman.
Seeking for confirmation
To confirm that this is not a trick to seduce you, tell him that you need time to process everything he’s told you. Then, take things slowly. Watch him carefully, but don’t make it so obvious. Don’t let him know that you’re thinking about him all the time.
Also, don’t treat him with indifference. You can act normal like before but don’t ignore him blatantly.
When you feel it’s the proper time, ask him to have a cup of coffee together. During that time, focus the conversation on long-term goals, and see his reactions.
If he shows discomfort, he’s not serious. But if you notice that he engages smoothly with your talking points, there may be something valuable there.
It will take time to know if he’s truthful. But it’s better if you take it slowly. After all, he’s a married man. There are other people involved directly and indirectly.
Can I trust a married man when he says that he loves me?
That’s totally up to you. We can’t force you to trust a married because if you feel something for him, it will be unstoppable. What we can do is show you what to expect from this situation and how to deal with it.
We’re all individuals with free will. What we do always have consequences. In this case, what you should do is to see through it before they happen. It’s not complicated. You need to have common sense to figure it all out.
There’s a risk, of course. The matters of the heart are unpredictable.
On the other hand, if you decide to believe him, it could be a possibility that he’s being honest about his feelings for you.
Love quotes for him after he says he loves you
You can use the following quotes if you reciprocate his love.
“You’re the best that ever happened to me.”
“You complete me and are everything I’ve asked for.”
“I’m yours, forever.”
“I thought I needed the world to love me. I only needed you.”
“My heart bursts with happiness whenever I hear you say it.”
“I can’t imagine living a life without you.”
“You’re my perfect half.”
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Let this be the beginning of our journey”
“I knew it since the moment you showed me your kindness.”
“This moment is the best of my life.”
“And I’ve loved you since the moment you touched my hand.”
“Those words, I’ve been willing to listen to since I met you.”
“Even if you don’t say it, I would know it.”
“And I love you more today than yesterday.”
FAQs
Is loving a married man wrong?
Not at all. Wrong is if you try to seduce him, knowing that you will wreak havoc in his marriage. When you hold in your heart sincere love towards someone married is a beautiful gift because you want this man to be happy even without you.
Can a married man love you more than his wife?
Yes, it can happen. Though marriage is a covenant, being married doesn’t order what you can feel. There have been, and will always be cases when a man finds his love after he marries someone else.
What to say to a married man you love?
First, don’t rush things. Take things slowly. And confirm what you feel is love and not infatuation. If it’s love, and both of you trust each other, you can tell him that you deeply care about him. He would know what you mean.
But be advised, don’t expect anything from this situation. If you start imagining subjective realities of the future with this man, you will probably end up disappointed and hurt.
How do you know if a married man loves his mistress?
There are several clear signs. One is when he becomes jealous of his mistress when being surrounded by other men. Please check out the other signs in this article.
When do affairs turn to love?
It happens when you start to miss your lover and want to spend more time together. Though all affairs are in some way emotional whether the two involved admit it or not, depositing your trust in the other person is the starting point when an affair turns to love.
Conclusion
As we’ve implied throughout the article, you have to be sure if this man really loves you, and that he’s not playing with you. Once you have confirmed his true intentions, you should proceed as we explained.
To deal with this situation, apply our tips:
- Don’t overreact.
- Don’t make fun of him.
- Don’t take it to heart.
- Never forget that he’s married.
- Stay calm and relax at home.
The most important thing is not to hold false illusions. He’s married and committed to his wife. Keep that in mind!
There’s a small percentage when a married man leaves his wife for another woman he meets. It happens but not as usual as in those soap opera shows!