Many women become suspicious when their husbands won’t share their location. Some of them even don’t understand why their spouses deny to say where they are most of the time.
This creates even more suspicious and doubts which easily trigger jealousy. The fear of cheating comes up to your head, poisoning your reasoning. Here’s when thoughts raid your mind, and you start imagining scenarios that are not happening.
And all because he won’t share his location with you. So, let’s first answer why he doesn’t do it.
My husband won’t share his location with me – Why?
You husband won’t share his location because he doesn’t want to be controlled. A man, single or married, doesn’t like to have somebody constantly checking on him. He’s a free spirit and his nature will reject any attempt of controlling and monitoring.
Of course, if he regularly goes out late at nights, and refuses to say where he goes, you, as the wife, has the right to demand his whereabouts.
In a couple relationship there must be limits so as not to lose privacy or individuality. That is why acts should not be carried out through coercion to give the other person ‘security and confidence’.
This is a controlling behavior. Later I will give you some great tips to stop being controlling and jealous. Now, I invite you to watch the following video. It will give you some insights how to handle the controlling aspect.
7 Things you should avoid at all cost
Trust is key in a relationship. You should not jump into conclusion and absolutely must avoid escalate the situation by letting your thoughts control your mind.
As such, there are things that you should not do:
Do not track him
Refrain from using one of those apps that tells you where he is without his consent. If he finds it out, he will get very upset. Even worse, your relationship may begin to deteriorate since he will realize that you don’t trust him.
Trust, as we’ve implied, is the pillar of a relationship. When it is diminished by unjustified jealousy, a relationship turns toxic bringing to many problems.
Do not demand to tell you where he is
When you text him or call him, don’t demand him to say where he is. He will feel that you are ordering him like a child. A man likes to be treated with respect, especially from his wife.
This statement has nothing to do with ego. It has do with the man’s nature. A married man is more than just a provider. He is a guider and the head of family. He is aware of this and the authority it carries.
Do not text him all times
Please don’t flood his cellphone with messages demanding to know his whereabouts. He might reply at the beginning, but eventually he will get tired of it. The only thing you will provoke with this attitude is to make him angry.
Do not involve his relatives
For no reason, do not bring member of his family to your marriage. Marital problems must be resolved within the marriage. Family members can help, providing solutions as long as both: the husband and wife agree.
Do not start a fight
If he’s still resilient to share his location, avoid fights. Instead, opt for a calm and productive communication. Remember that scalation can make things worse.
Do not call his friends
First of all, your husband’s friend are his friends. That means that they will never betray him by telling you what you want to know. Actually, they can tell him that you are asking for that information through them.
Doing these things behind his back won’t do him any good. You will only make him mad and things will get easily out of control.
Do not follow him
Above all things, never ever try to follow him. There is nothing more that can annoy a married man than having his wife continually following in his footsteps everywhere he goes.
What is the fear behind controlling your husband
There are primarily two fears. Women are normally afraid that their husbands either cheats on them or have too much freedom.
Whether you admit or not, most women can’t avoid feeling jealous when her husbands are surrounded by other women. Some of them think that all men are just waiting for a window of opportunity to cheat on them.
This is a prejudiced concept that has become widespread. A married man cheating on his wife doesn’t mean that all men follow his lead. Any woman believing it shows very low security and confidence.
Some of these women have been cheated before. And since they haven’t overcome it yet, they consider every man as a potential adulterer.
There are women that don’t like their husbands have too much freedom. They think that they could adopt certain behaviors and surround with people that they don’t approve.
And that’s a terrible mistake. You cannot tell your husband what kind of friends he should have and how he spend his free time. If you do it, that’s controlling.
Of course, if he’s adopting destructive behaviors like drinking too much or seeing people that are really a bad influence, you can step in and intervene.
But always keep in mind that a man always needs to have freedom. It’s like a bird who has always been free, and then you capture it and put it in a cage.
Another of the reasons why women fear that their husbands have a lot of freedom also lies in the possibility of being cheated on. But think about this: if you married this man, and you’re sure that he loves you, and care for you and your children, there’s no need to for not trusting him.
If you are still jealous, you need to work hard on your confidence!
How to stop being jealous and controlling
Feeling jealous at all times is not a healthy way of life. People who suffer from this obsessive behavior tend to cause many problems that ultimately break their relationships forever.
Here are 7 great tips that helps you deal with it:
Acknowledge that you have a problem
That problem is jealousy. And most women use controlling to satisfy this destructive feeling. So, the first step in dealing with jealousy is admitting that it is a real problem that is affecting the relationship.
Jealousy can weaken both people in a relationship and can even prevent them from staying together.
Talk to your husband and tell him what you feel
He’s your husband, the man you love, so open your heart to him so that he knows what are the real reasons why you feel so insecure so that you both can reach agreements. This strengthens communication during the process.
Find something that motivates you
Do something that you love and focus on it. You can choose an instrument and learn to play it or read a book when your husband is busy and you have free time. With that you will avoid thinking that he is doing inappropriate things and time will go by faster.
Work on your confidence
Take a look at yourself in the mirror and see the wonderful and beautiful person you are. After all, if you don’t give yourself your place, who else will?
The lack of confidence is primal factor makes you anxious. You see, jealousy is a product of emotional insecurity and low self-esteem. Many times, it is a deep fear of abandonment, that someone leaves you or stops being interested in you because you consider that ‘you are not enough‘.
Keep in mind that self-confident people know that even if they are rejected, it is not always their fault, and they also trust that they will be able to deal with it and recover.
Stop checking constantly your husband social profiles
These sites, mainly Facebook and Instagram, invade you with images that can arouse jealousy. It is not that you underestimate yourself, that you are not capable of handling a social network properly.
It is about not forgetting that you currently have difficulty managing certain emotions (jealousy) and that therefore there will be things that should be avoided.
Also, if you know that this hurts you, stay away from his social profiles, and choose to trust your husband. Don’t jump into a rush conclusion by getting yourself get carried away by your thoughts.
And if at any time, for any justified reason, you have to take his cellphone, do it with confidence without the need to generate discomfort or think that he’s hiding something.
Jealousy is a behavior that feeds on fear. You spend anxious time worrying about something that hasn’t happened and probably never will.
By doing this, you increase the chances of bad things happening by giving rise to suspicion and mistrust. Instead, try to focus on the positive.
Be happy with what you have! And think that if someone is going to hurt you, there is nothing you can do, because you cannot prevent it.
It is of little use that you watch him, accuse him or spy on him. This will prevent someone else from hurting you. If you trust someone, then offer him a vote of confidence.
One of the main reasons people are jealous is due to low self-esteem and insecurity. They think that they are not good enough to deserve the relationship, that their partner will find out sooner or later and will look for someone else.
Remember that your partner chose to be with you and has reasons to do so. This choice necessarily comes from the fact that you have the ability to make him feel good, and for this reason he decides to be with you.
Should you share locations in a relationship?
It depends on you. Don’t do it to calm your spouse’s unfounded jealous behavior. In a healthy relationship, spouses trust each other. They don’t need to know where the other is at all times.
Is tracking your spouse healthy?
Absolutely no. Doing so will only make you live stressed out in fear. You won’t have a life. When he goes out, you’ll think he’s cheating on you.
Is it ok to track my boyfriend?
No. If you track him from the start, what would you be able to do when you’re a married couple? Your jealousy will destroy you. The relationship will be toxic and have no chance of being fruitful.
What does it mean when a guy shares his location with you?
It just means that he wants you to know where he is in case you’re around. But if this is your boyfriend or husband, it means that he may think that you don’t trust him.
Should I confront him if I’m suspicious?
You should have a conversation with him, not confront him with accusations. Tell him what is stressing you. Tell him the reason why you’re suspicious.
Trust is key in any relationship. If you use certain means to track and monitor your husband’s location, you have a real jealousy problem. This problem can eventually break your relationship. Many marriages are destroyed when one of the spouses can’t control it.
So, avoid doing the following:
- Do not track him.
- Do not demand to tell you where he is.
- Do not text him all times.
- Do not involve his relatives.
- Do not start a fight.
- Do not call his friends.
- Do not follow him.
Also, work on your confidence and self-steem. Remember that these are mostly the cause of jealousy. And keep in mind that if the man who married you decided to share his life with you. Trust him!