It’s normal that after honeymoon phase, the fire in the marriage wane. The romantic aspect progressively dissolves as times goes by, and and everything becomes more routine.
However, it’s not so normal when your husband doesn’t enjoy your company anymore. He can show either indifference or annoyance. And it happens for a reason.
My husband doesn’t enjoy my company
Your husband doesn’t enjoy your company because he has lost interest in you. Whatever makes him want to listen to you, to talk to you, to share things with you and just to be around with you has evaporated since you’re not meeting his needs.
What this means is that he’s lacking of something that you’re not currently providing. You probably don’t see it and think that you’re doing everything in your power to making him happy. But something is definitely absent in his life.
Is it my fault?
Not all the time. But there are cases when the wife is unaware of his duties as a spouse. In addition, you’re also making things that bother him.
So, there could be many reasons why he’s not enjoying your company and getting satisfaction. Let’s see some of these reasons:
- There are things that you do that he doesn’t like doing with you.
- Lack of care and understanding.
- He doesn’t receive the support he needs.
- He feel suffocated and pressured.
- You try to cut ties with some of his friends.
- His work is taking its toll.
- He’s seeing another woman.
So, if you want your husband feel the same thrill he did when you were dating and knowing each other, there are some things that you can do make him feel interested in you again.
Give him space and time
Men love their independence. No matter if a man is single or married, he needs to have freedom. And you have to respect that!
This freedom is not the freedom to do whatever he wants. It doesn’t mean he will cheat on you. He needs his freedom to be a man.
The clear mistake women make is to cling more on their husbands because they think they will lose them. But instead of getting them closer, they end up pushing them away.
Just like women, men need space to be themselves. We explained the important of this in our article: should I let my husband travel alone?
When they can’t their space and time, the pressure starts to amass. And if you push yourself on them, the pressure can easily turn into annoyance that he will direct towards you.
Likewise, when you give him space, it also gives you the time to do the things that you like to do.
Think about it! Have you ever wanted to do something that you’ve been putting off because of your duties as a wife?
Now, it’s the time! Doing things that you love will make you more happy, which is very important, because you cannot make someone else happy if you’re not happy yourself.
If after reading this, you’re still reluctant to give him space, I invite you to watch the following video where Adrienne Everheart stresses on why it’s so important to give him his own space. She also gives great tips on how you can do it.
Reevaluate – Reflect – Reinvent
You have to change the routine and the dynamic of your relationships. Surprise your husband with something that normally excites him. bring the adrenaline back to your relationship. This boosts attraction.
Dress to impress him. Put something sexy on, and let him know that he’s the reason you’re wearing it. This also increases your confident level since you feel desirable, and in turn, attract your husband to you.
On the same note, spice the things up a little bit on the bed. Try foreplays or games. In the case of games, one that people like most is sex dice. You can get it on amazon or in other ecommerce platform if you’re too shy to buy it in person in a sex shop.
So, the goal is to reignite the spark by trying out something new in order to re-attract your husband.
Give him back the same love, appreciation, and recognition you used to give him when you’re first got together. Don’t deny those things he loves.
Praise him when he does something good for the family. That will let him know that you really thank his efforts. Remind him how much you love him. Men are simple creatures. The see things in black and white. They like when their wives express their love to them.
All men want respect, specially from their wives. If you don’t respect your husband, your marriage is doom. He will leave you. If he doesn’t, he will cheat on you.
When you treat him bad, you’re kicking his groins. Each time you don’t show him any respect, a thread of affection is disseminated. He will become more and more distant until the point he will despise you.
Respect is basic in all relationships. Without respect, there’s no love.
Men likes to be listened to not because of some sort of ego thing, but rather because they know that his inputs are being well received. When a man handles things, he does it in a way to achieve the best result.
When you listen to him, you’re showing that you’re giving him value. You’re taking seriously what he’s saying. In a marriage, the husband knows he has great responsibility. He’s a provider and the protector of the wife and children.
His goals are to offer confort, guidance and love. He does his best to get things under control. He will go so far and beyond to spare you any suffering. So, the least you can do is to listen when he wants to talk to you.
It’s not only enough on listening to him. You have to give him your unconditional support. Women who don’t support their husbands are digging their own grave. Any marriage where the husband is not the fundamental pillar is destined to a catastrophe.
He’s the guider. And this is not some kind of patriarcal thing, it means to be this way. There cannot be any structure in the family if this hierarchy is not stablished. This is a sensitive topic for some people. Many have the belief that this structure put down women, but it’s not.
There are clear roles for a man and a woman in this world. When they are interchanged, things get out of control: Marriages breaks, family separated. These are the results of a family life without structure.
Now that you realize the importance of having a structure that channels of everything around your marriage, you have to support and follow your husband’s lead.
There’s always room for improvement in all aspects of life. Make yourself more interesting by acquiring new skills. Your husband will notice them and stimulate him to partake more in your life.
He will feel more inclined to be around you and discover more about these new qualities you have. It’s just like getting to know each other. And By doing so, he will be willing to participate in activities alongside with you.
Things to avoid doing when your husband is losing interest in you
It’s common to see wives that instead of stopping to ponder for a second, they start arguing and making other silly mistakes, which worse the situation. So, here are 6 things that you must completely avoid.
Do not push him
Take it easy and don’t push him to be with you. If you do, he might dislike your presence even more. This easily leads to severe marital problems that can turn unsolvable.
Also, don’t follow him everywhere. He will feel suffocated and you’ll only make him go further away from you.
Do not prohibit him to spend time with his friends
Spending time with his buddies is the one of most joyful things a man does. This is part of being a man. And when he’s not able to do it, he turns mad and exasperated.
If the wife tries to prohibit it, he will protest and ultimate grow negative feelings. This easily leads to distance himself from her and eventually dislike her.
No man wants to be constantly scolded by the wife. If she does it, he will gradually get annoyed by her presence and will prefer to spend time alone.
Those marriages where the husbands go out and spend time with himself outside is a scape reaction because there’s something at home he’s not comfortable with. And in some cases, the source if discomfort is the wife.
When the wife is someone caring and comprehensive, the husband will want to spend more time at home with her. And he would die to come home fast to see her when he’s outside.
Do not bring a mediator without his consent
Something that a husband despises and gets him in a terrible mood is when someone else is involved. Even when he’s aware that this person comes to help, he will reject the idea and blame it all on you.
This is something some wives don’t understand. You have to be a man to comprehend it. But know that a married man, as the man of the house thinks of himself last. His family is his top priority.
It also means that he’s a fixer, someone who solves problems around him. And most of the time he doesn’t think he has one. Simply put, that he is part of the problem because marriage is one unit.
So, to make him be open to the idea of mediator, you need to talk it with him first. Both of you have to agree upon it before proceeding.
Do not involve the in laws
If it’s bad idea to involve a mediator with telling him, it is worse if you involve your parents or his parents. What happens in the marriage is something between the husband and wife. Family members may try to help solving problems as long as the spouses agree.
However, you have to be very careful when the in laws enter the scenario. Regularly, husband don’t get along well with the in laws, specially the mother in law. And in the cases the husbands do, the thin line between love and hate is blurred, and the mother in law (your mom) becomes an annoying presence for him.
This is the common interference aspect most husbands dislike. So keep in mind not to involve the in laws, expecting the things will get better.
Do not abandon him
The fact that you need to give him space as stated, it doesn’t mean that you will forget about his needs. All men have needs. If you neglect him, another woman will come to equation to provide what he needs.
So, if he rejects your company, do not stop giving him love, respect, appreciation and consideration.
What should I do if I’m not able to make him enjoy my company
First of all, you don’t have make him enjoy your company. It’s like making someone to love you. This happens naturally. Of course, you can use strategies to increase the possibility of achieving what you want. But remember, it can’t be forced.
Now, if you think that your efforts are not paying off, don’t get too alarm yet. This is the man that you married. You love each other. He chose you over other women. So, even he seems to dislike your company, he still harbor some feelings towards you.
The most important aspect is not to make things worse by cutting his liberty, force him to dedicate time to you and prohibiting the things that he likes. Be cautious, but don’t push him.
If things get colder, and you start to notice that he frequently gets mad when you’re around, you have to talk to him. Don’t confront him with angry arguments. Have a conversation as a couple where the two of you get it out of the chest, and put whatever is bordering on the table.
For a marriage to have stability, communication is key. If he doesn’t enjoy your company, there must be a clear reason. And to find it, you have to have a conversation with him.
This commutation must be carried out under various conditions such as respect, consideration and understanding. The communication will not be fruitful if there are complains, shouts and manipulations by any of the parties.
Many couples seek marriage counseling to improve communication. The therapist functions as a mediator that helps rebuild the foundations for a clean communication.
It has given good results for a group of couples but that’s not always the case. As previously said, involving another person is not a good idea unless both spouses agree and have the desire to solve their problems.
Therapy sessions are just a space for internal analysis by both parties, where each individual accepts that they have a problem and are looking for the means to solve it. This is very constructive when you have the will and the firmness to face the situation.
Therapy will not work if someone already has a bias against it or just doesn’t want to be there. Therapy is not for everyone. That’s for sure. And it doesn’t mean that you will not get a solution. You can fix any problem without intermediaries as long as you and your spouse want to fix it.
Will he leave me if he doesn’t enjoy my company?
No, that’s a hasty statement. Avoid panic. This will only make you anxious and you will commit several mistakes, complicating things even more. Try to localize the root of the problem. Talk to him and make yourself more desirable.
Is it possible that he has another woman?
That’s a possibility if this situations has extend in time. Neglecting a husband is what gives room for another woman to enter your marriage life.
Why does he reject to seek marriage counseling?
Men don’t like to discuss their problems, specially with strangers. They are more open to share certain details with their buddies. But even though they don’t refrain themselves from doing it because it shows vulnerability.
Is it possible that he doesn’t love me anymore?
Don’t rush into thinking that he no longer loves you though it can happens. But this doesn’t occur overnight. It takes him time to erase good feelings and memories while growing negative feelings and resentment.
At the beginning, the cause could be nuisance of some sort. But those types of problems are solvable. The real problem will arise if you neglect him and let time pass without taking action.
Should I tell somebody in my family that he doesn’t like to be with me?
You can in order to look for advice. But don’t bring a family member to your marriage. This is about you and him. And if someone else will be involve, you need your husband’s consent.
Reattracting your husband to you can be challenging but if you have the desire to make him want you again, it’s possible. Just remember to give him space and respect, listen to him, support him, and understand him. These are the keys to maintaining a healthy marriage.
Also, be sure you don’t make the common mistakes such as:
- Don’t push.
- Allow him to be with his buddies.
- Don’t nag him.
- Consult with him before bringing a mediator.
- Keep your parents out of your marriage.
- Don’t neglect him.
If you make an effort, he can start enjoying again the time he spends with you. He married you. No man marries a woman who doesn’t stand!