He’s travelling alone, and you’re feeling uncomfortable. This is a common situation wives face because they don’t know how to deal with it. And since you’re here now, the thought of banning his travel has crossed your mind.
So, should you really let him travel alone? What consequences could this move bring?
it is somehow baffling because you don’t know what it can lead to.
So, we are going to answer this question right away and also advise you what you should refrain from doing.
Should I let my husband travel alone?
If there’s trust between you and your husband and that trust is based on values, there is absolutely no reason why you should prohibit him from travelling on his own, whether for business or other motives.
And what could be other motives?
Freedom is one of the most common ones. This is one of the main elements this blog has tapped on in many articles. All men, married or single, need space and time for themselves. That’s essential in any relationship.
Another motive is the relatives. There are cases that a man has a very complicated relationship with his relatives due to past resentments. And husbands don’t bring it into their own families. They prefer to keep these two part of their lives separately. That’s why they prefer to travel alone to visit them.
You might feel frustrated. But he’s actually solidifying the marriage, which is important because what happens inside the marriage should stay there.
That’s because your marriage can get influenced either negatively or positively by other people, specially by the relatives.
Here’s a great video that gives a glimpse of how your marriage can get hurt when you involve the members of both families.
7 Things to avoid when your husband travel alone
Now that you know that it is important that he can have time and space for his own, there are things that you should avoid when he tells you about his solo travel and after he’s gone.
Do not try to blackmail your husband for any reason. It is a very low gesture and even if you could get away with it, you are poisoning the relationship.
Many women use emotional manipulation to turn their husband into a submissive puppy. What they don’t know is that one day everything may explode and it will be very difficult to redirect the situation because there will already be too many cracks full of resentment.
If you’re thinking to make up excuses to persuade him to ditch his travel, don’t bother. He will see through it. Using excuses to prevent your trip just hurts your relationship.
As we have discussed, trust is essential in maintaining a healthy marriage. When you lie, you are shaking the foundations of the relationship.
3. Impose your will
Do not impose your will by the mere fact of being his wife. It is disrespectful because you deny him his authority over his own decisions.
Surely you would think that being his wife, decisions should be made as a couple. You’re right! but you must also keep in mind that certain decisions are specific to the person because all individuals have their own needs, and as his spouse you must be empathetic to what he needs.
4. Repetitive Calls
Do not call him every time checking on him as if he were a child. This would annoy him to such a degree that he would turn off his cell phone and you would not be able to talk to him when you really need to.
5. Call his relatives
Unless there’s a real reason when you’re concerned about his wellbeing, you must not involve his relatives.
Many men do not like their wives to involve their parents or siblings. He sees it as an invasion which will not favor you at all because you will be the one to encourage it.
6. Be constantly checking your phone
Stop checking your cell phone, waiting for his call or message. You will get terribly anxious when he doesn’t communicate. That won’t help your mental health at all.
He will know when to call you either when he has arrived at his destination or to tell you some details of his trip.
7. Party day in, day out
Don’t use his absence to party every day. It’s okay if you want to share with your friends or do certain things you’ve been putting off. But you must have some modesty.
A married woman must behave as such. Some women, under bad influence, believe that since their husbands decide to travel alone, then they should go ‘wild’. But this is a behavior caused by the anger of seeing him leave. And as a result of that anger you can make mistakes that you later regret.
Why Should I let my husband travel alone?
Because it’s healthy for any relationship that a man can have his own space and time. There are moments when a guy needs a respire. It doesn’t mean he’s abandoning his responsibilities as a husband. He just requires time for himself.
Relationships demand a lot from each one that is inevitable not to feel stressed. That’s why it is very important that he can have time alone.
When a man is with himself, he will:
- Have time for his own to de-stress.
- Recharge his batteries.
- Connect with his own self.
- Discover and learn new things.
The same thing applies to wives too. A couple cannot do all things together all the time. It brings a lot of pressure, and alongside with stress, it’s just a ticking bomb, waiting to go off.
What Experts say about husbands travelling alone
As stated, it’s healthy to travel on your own. Experts in the counseling & therapy field also agree on it. For instance, Dr. Patrick Wanis, states that traveling on your own helps you discovering yourself as well as learn new things out of your comfort zone.
In the same line, the relationship coach Michelle Baxo, points out that besides improving your confidence, travelling on your own builds your sense of self and also makes you miss your spouse, which fuels your love.
So, travelling on your own is beneficial either for husbands that want solo travel, and boyfriends travelling without their girlfriends. It’s a rich experience that will makes your relationship stronger.
What are the risk of letting my husband travel alone?
The main risk, the one all women fear is cheating. They are always reluctant to let their husbands go on a “unsupervised” travel. Even if a man has proved his love, his wife might be afraid her spouse may give in to temptation.
Basically, she is afraid of:
- Forced situations: Men willingly create the cheating environment.
- Unforced situation: Other women preying on men.
So, at first glance women wants to avoid any situation to loom in the horizon. In other words, they prefer to be wrong than cheated.
How to cope with my husband travelling alone
First of all, do not let anxiety hold you. Take a deep breath to lower down your frustration, which can easily increase as the day of his trip approaches.
To assist you with that, here are some practical steps that can help you if you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Recognize your insecurities
They don’t appear out of the blue, but there’s something about you that makes you feel insecure. So, once you have identified it, you can then proceed to correct it.
Most of the cases what makes you feel insecure, and consequently provoking low self-esteem is that lack of something. That could be physical appearance, emotional validation, financial situation, etc.
Replace the negative thoughts
It’s easy to let your thoughts put you down. If you let it, your mind can be your worst enemy because besides it knows your strength, it also knows your weaknesses. And it exploits them!
So, suppress negative thoughts and instead fill your head with positives ones. You can be realistic about something wrong going on your life, but don’t let yourself be dragged by pessimism. Almost always all those negative thoughts have no solid grounds.
Value your accomplishments
It’s vital to highlight what you have achieved in your life. It’s good to list what you haven’t accomplished yet to work on it later, but you need to recognize what you’ve attained with your effort because it keeps you moving forward.
Think about your skills, qualifications, everything your have accomplished so far no matter how small or big they are. This is an excellent mental exercise to see and measure your value.
Once you have seen your value, give yourself something. It’s good for your mental health since it makes you gain confidence. This is the most challenging part because most people fight they nature impulse all human being have to see good in themselves.
Yes, there’s good in all of us. But since we are individuals full of doubts, we are unable to recognize and celebrate our value.
Change your attitude
Many people can’t accept when someone say something good about them. They see themselves unworthy of anything remarkable. This terribly undermines confidence and hurt self-steem to dangerous levels.
So, take gladly when someone compliment you. Don’t think they do it out of pity. Think of it as an appreciation from someone that notices your worth. It will boost your confidence and make you feel valued.
Know and accept your limitation
It’s perfectly okay to have a self-imposed standard of excellence to become a better person. But sometimes when you try so hard, you’re looking for perfection in order to compensate what you lack of.
This is poor confidence camouflaged!
It’s imperative that you accept your flaws and limitation. That’s going to help you enjoy what we do. The idea is to become the best version of yourself.
See how people with a strong confidence behave. They look at things in a positive way. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by problems and hard situations, they see them as opportunities to solve problems and evolve as individuals.
Eventually your brain will get used to this way of thinking and make it part of your daily processed actions.
If it’s too much to handle by yourself, go see a counsellor to work on your confidence. You might be suffering from separation anxiety, which is a strong fear of losing your partner while he’s away.
There are specialists that can help you get rid of your insecurities and trust issues.
The recommendation is to find a qualified person that has help others with the same problems you’re experiencing now. Be sure to look for:
- Licensed specialists.
- Proactive approach (get away from specialists who use medication).
- Empathetic professionals.
- Stablished organizations with good history of helping people.
Should I ask him to report to me while he’s on travel?
No, he’s not a child. He’s an adult! Of course, let him know to text and call you in case of an emergency or just to make sure he’s okay.
Actually, you won’t need it because if he’s a loving and caring husband, he’ll contact you regularly to prevent you from worrying.
Can he cheat on me if he travels alone
That’s a possibility. But he can also cheat on you in any place A cheater don’t necessarily need to travel to commit adultery. He can do it whenever and wherever he wants.
Is it selfish to travel without your partner?
No at all. Even if you’re married you can perfectly travel without your spouse. A healthy relationship means to give the person you love his own space.
Why does it hurt to be away from your partner?
Because you love him. When you deeply love somebody, you get used to seeing and hearing that person every day that he makes room for himself inside of you. And when he leaves, you miss him because it’s like that something precious has been ripped out of your heart.
Is it insecurity if I prohibit my husband to travel?
Yes, most of the time it is. This is a problem that can create a lot of troubles for couples. It can break a marriage. And though it’s okay to have insecurities (many people suffer from them), the idea to work on your confidence to remove a large part of our insecurities to live a healthier life.
Learn to trust in your husband. Don’t oppose his travel unless you have a good reason.
And do not use tricks to deter him such as:
- Obsessive behavior.
- Involve his relatives.
If you do, you can seriously hurt your marriage. Trust is the fundamental ground for all married people. If there’s no any, marriage is doom.
Put into practice the tips that we have explained in this article and work on your confidence. The important thing is to reduce your insecurities!