My Broken Heart Is Killing Me

People give it different names: broken heart, heartbreak, or heartache. But despite the variety of names given to this emotionally hurtful situation, the feeling is the same. You’re in pain and it’s literally killing you.

But no pain lasts forever, that’s for sure. In this article, we’re going to help you out by giving you guidance during the healing process of your heart.

Will I ever heal from a broken heart?

Your heart will heal because your emotions change as time goes by. They are the result of what you feel at the moment. But when you go on with your life, you will have new experiences meeting people which create other feelings.

Nevertheless, if you can’t move on, it will be just because you’re gripping on those emotions that are destroying you. But nothing makes do it. It’s only you who is not letting them go.

The reason, most of the time, is the stubborn belief that there won’t be another person for you. There’s also little pride in it. You’ve invested your life in the person you loved just to see everything crumbling down. And the problem is that you insist on something that cannot be undone.

How long does it take to heal a broken heart?

Don’t give it a specific time. You will go crazy. Every broken heart will take its own time to heal. The important thing is that you live again.

Just watch the video below to see why there’s no magic number when it comes to recovering from a broken heart.

As it is suggested in the video, find a distraction. Many people have had goals and have had to postpone them when starting a romantic relationship. It’s time to resume them.

And if you feel lost, find a purpose. The best way to live a full life and get out of difficulties is by having a purpose that carries you.

So, don’t pressure yourself by looking at the clock, and counting the minutes of your suffering. Be active and get back to living your life.

How to recover from a broken heart

Moving on looks like an impossible task especially when the breakup is recent, but there are practical tips that help heal your heart quicker.

1. The person came to your life for a reason

Accept that it happens for a reason. This person didn’t come and walk away from your life because of coincidence. This experience serves as a great opportunity to learn about life and love.

Though it is a very painful experience, you should not overlook this life’s lesson. That’s why it happens. To test you, to make you feel about some of the hard things about life. From this, you can learn a lot and come out stronger.

2. Understand and affirm your situation

It’s okay if you think the love you felt was real. There’s no shame in it. The worst you could do is to label this hurtful experience as fake.

It’s important that you acknowledge those emotions because you need to address them. Going through life thinking this was not real will only be a big lie and will not allow you to learn and grow from these experiences.

3. Don’t let your mind trick you

In this situation, your mind is your worst enemy. It will use your pain to fill your head with all kinds of scenarios and speculations. This will only make you feel worse. Don’t fall into that trap.

So, don’t spend hours and days thinking if the other person is seeing somebody else or if you both will ever get back together.

If you follow this self-punishment path, you’ll explode and go crazy. Take things calmly, step by step, day by day. And everything will unfold the way it is supposed to.

4. Appreciate the nature of love

You know what they say:

It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Many people spend their time in this world and never experience love. We know that loving someone is risky. Exposing our hearts to sensitive emotions can make us vulnerable. And as such, someone can come and cause terrible pain.

But that’s the part of living. It’s hurt, it can teach us and make us stronger. So, when appreciate that life gives you the wonderful gift of love, the process of moving on will be faster.

5. Suppress the negative feelings

It’s important that you remove hate and feelings of revenge from your mind. Your heart is suffering, but if you hold on to those negative feelings you will never heal your heart.

Even if there’s room for reconciliation, it will fail because you harbor resentment and grudge. Sooner or later, a hypothetical get-back together would be brief because those feelings will rise, destroying the relationship again.

6. Know that you can be loved

Don’t be so hard on yourself and think that you don’t deserve to be loved. And most importantly, don’t think you’re not enough. People on this earth deserve to be loved.

So, it’s essential that you successfully remove from your head any thought that someone in the future will not love you again.

7. Work on your self-esteem

There’s no better way to heal yourself faster than to build your self-esteem. It’ll make you feel good. And when you are in a terrific mood, the pain from the breakup dwindles because you won’t think much about the pain.

8. Try to be independent

The great benefit of being independent is that you know deep inside that you’re able to function by yourself. Though you’re going through something painful, life still goes on.

You will begin to feel energized again since you will know that even if you are no longer with the person you loved, your life will not fall apart because above all else you are an individual capable of overcoming problems.

9. Seek support

It’s okay if summon your close friends and relatives to help in the healing process. Actually, it’s helpful to have somebody you trust by your side. This will stop you from sitting at home alone thinking about whether your ex comes back.

So, go out with your friends and relatives. Go to see a movie. If the opportunity of a trip comes, take it! It will clear your mind and motivate you to experience new things… to live again!

10. Don’t forget that time heals everything

At the moment of the breakup and even during the healing process, you will think that the pain will never go away. But it you just have to give it some time. The mind is not a slave to thoughts!

You will see that after some time this unbearable pain that you feel right now will have subsided. And you will see it as an experience from which you have learned because you have come out of it wiser.

Why does a broken heart hurt so much?

Because emotions are involved. Emotions wash over us like a tidal wave, clinging us to feelings of hurt and anger. And if you wonder why they get out of control in our system, we have to take a look at all these factors:

  • Sharing habits: this is the end of it. All the things you do together are over.
  • Intrusive thoughts: memories invade our mind and it is difficult to ignore them because they are thoughts that cause emotional pain.
  • Lasting pain: Contrary to a physical wound, emotional pain tends to be prolonged, sometimes it lasts over time.
  • Dependence: After the breakup, we must adapt to living without the person we love because we have become used to the feelings of affection towards that person.

Trusted opinions from experts

This is a subject that many specialists commonly aboard in their therapy sessions with their clients. Many people with deep trauma look for professional counseling in the relationship field to help them handle the suffering.

Some of these specialists’ advice taps on the importance of letting all the emotions out, investing in yourself, and keeping your mind busy with other things.

Let’s highlight below some of the best takes from three specialists:

During the grieving process, allow your emotions to be processed and honored.”

He also suggests setting boundaries and cutting communication with the person you love after a breakup:

These boundaries will allow you to process your emotions and provide you the safety needed to move on.”

Quotes by Mac Stanley Cazeau licensed therapist.

“When you invest in you, what you gain can be utilized whether you are single and/or in a relationship again.”

This also helps reestablish your identity as an individual.

Quotes by Nicholas Hardy, psychotherapist.

“The more time you have to sit around and think about your past relationship, the more it will get to you. Keep your mind occupied.

Quotes by Krysta Monet, dating expert.

Chances to get back with ex

The odds are a little below 50%. It’s very hard for two people after a breakup to reunite again. The common reason lies in our nature. We are creatures that hold strong to our emotions and feelings. We let our happiness depend on them. And when then they get crushed, it’s difficult to forgive.

However, there are couples that manage to go through the mud and reconnect again. They are able to see beyond the pain that the relationship is worth fighting for. But keep in mind that this is a long and slow process. It requires a lot of patience. You need to give yourself and your ex some time and space.

After that, the process initiates when you or your ex make the first move to make contact. Then you get together to get it out of your chest in a civilized way. This is complicated and sometimes uncomfortable for people who talk with their exes after months. It’s like starting again but knowing that something went wrong in the past. And in order to move on, you both have to solve it to reconnect successfully.


Can a broken heart destroy you?

If you let it, it can. You make yourself a slave to your emotions and before you know it, your life is in shambles. Holding on to your emotions is what stops you from moving on.

What are the stages of healing from a broken heart?

The common five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People go through these stages when their hearts have been hurt by the loss of a loved one or the product of a breakup. These stages can also appear when something you desperately want doesn’t come to fruition.

What is the hardest stage of a breakup?

Depression is considered, if not the most, one of the hardest stages. It may be dangerous in certain circumstances because it can affect negatively your health.

Some people who go through depression stop eating and neglect other essential needs.

Is there another fastest way to heal a broken heart?

Not in a healthy way. Some people take refuge in drugs thinking that they will help them. But DO NOT Take drugs. Run away from anyone who recommends them.

What If I can’t handle another heartbreak?

In that case, you need to look for professional help because, above all things, you must avoid falling into the pit of depression. That’s the moment when self-destruction begins.

Can I get sick if my broken heart is killing me?

Yes, our emotions can determine our health. If our heart is hurt, the mind will know it. And since the mind and body is connected, it will reflect in our well being how we feel.

When we are happy, we feel strong, energized, and full of life. But when we are down, we feel depressed. And the body manifests it. This changes our habits. We start eating less, alcohol becomes our inseparable companion and other destructive ways that endanger our health.


Know that you can heal your broken heart for good. You have the will to dictate over your life, nobody else. It’s painful to go through this process of healing, but there are ways:

  • People come into your life for a reason.
  • Acknowledge your situation.
  • Don’t get fooled by your mind.
  • Know that love is a gift.
  • Let go of your negative and destructive feelings.
  • Know that you can be loved.
  • Improve your self-esteem.
  • Be independent again.
  • Get support from your friends and family.
  • Let time heal your heart.

These tips will help you go through the healing process faster. And remember you, and only you, are in real control of your life to get back on track again.

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