When your husband won’t travel with you, the thought that comes to your head and overwhelms you is that he is moving away from you. However, you should not despair. There are reasons that lead him to refuse to travel with you.
We’re not only going to review the most usual reasons, but we’re also going to tell you what you can do to address this problem. Likewise, we will give you some tips so that when you travel with your husband, your experience is as pleasant as possible.
My husband won’t travel with me (What to do)
The first thing you have to do is not force it. If you do it and he agrees, you won’t enjoy the trip. In fact, neither of you will. When you travel together, the purpose is to have fun. But in this case, you will begin your travel with him in a bad mood.
So, what to do about it?
- Don’t force him to do something he doesn’t want.
- Pick a good time to have a conversation with him.
- Ask him nicely why he refuses.
- Tell him that you want to spend time with him because you love him.
- Propose to make a short trip inside the limits of your state to soften his resistance.
- Take advantage of the weekends, tell him to take you to a restaurant and spend the night out.
These steps will help you not only to break his resistance but also to drive him closer to you, and also revive the fire you both felt at the beginning of your marriage when you couldn’t be apart from each other.
We know that this situation might be stressful for you. You’re seeing other married women go on a family vacation, and then you say out of frustration why my husband won’t travel with me!
It’s very understandable!!!
There could be chances that the value that he used to see in you is diminishing for some reason. Now, before we give you some of the common reasons why husbands or even boyfriends prefer to travel alone, we invite you to watch the following video on how to get him to change.
Reasons why your husband won’t travel with you
Depending on the situation there are varied reasons. When he refuses to travel with you is because there is something – for better or worse – that makes him uncomfortable. Let’s see what are the common reasons:
1. Tight Schedule
Sometimes couple vacations don’t match. This is a usual problem where the spouses work.
Also, there are cases where the husband regularly takes a business trip that involves only work. So, instead of bringing along his wife to neglect her, he would prefer to travel alone.
2. Day care responsibilities
It happens that the husband has old family members who are not able to take care of themselves anymore. This also applies to those relatives who are going through a disease.
Taking care of them requires time and can easily alter any vacation plan.
3. Children
If you have children, they are probably in school. Unless it is a family trip when you all can travel in Summer, children cannot skip their classes. Also, you cannot leave them alone while you go on a trip with your husband.
Children are a responsibility. If someone reliable can watch over them, you can make plans. Otherwise, he will oppose the idea.
4. Different tastes
There are those men who don’t like traveling much. And if they decide to travel they have different preferences.
He would probably prefer adventure trips while you like something more romantic, like going to a paradisiac island.
So, traveling separately can be the ideal solution. That way you can fully enjoy and not give up your passion while the other does not have to suffer it in silence or by obligation.
5. Love is banishing
It could be a possibility that he doesn’t enjoy much to spend time with you. There was a time when he couldn’t get his eyes off you. But such feeling that went through his veins when he looked at you has just evaporated.
What does data say about husbands traveling alone?
Nowadays more couples are traveling separately. And it’s getting more common than you think. According to Glamour.com, about 59% of couples are really traveling without their spouses.
They find it a little liberating, not because they can’t stand their spouses or because they plan to cheat, instead, they see it as a good opportunity to be with themselves. That’s one of the reasons why husbands travel alone. Actually, all of us at some moment need time alone!
We also need time to spend with other people like close friends and other relatives for a variety. This gives us a wide perspective of life. Though we love to be with our spouses, there are wonderful things that can be enjoyed outside the marriage circle.
Travel tips for couples
If you convince him to take you with him, in order to make your travel more enjoyable, here are some tips to consider to make the most of it:
Think it over
Traveling together can be an exam that tests your relationship. Spending 24/7 together can either be great or a nightmare. For some people, it’s the best experience since they’re spending quality time with the people they love and cherish.
But it can also be something that can make you realize that you and your partner have many differences. It doesn’t mean that the trip will destroy your relationship – in some cases it does – but it tells you that, for the relationship to work, both of you need space and time for each one.
That’s why you need to think very carefully about traveling together. Some couples take pleasure in the idea of going on a trip together. But it’s not the general rule. Though couples can arrange a trip together, sometimes they need to experience traveling by themselves or with other people.
Make plans
One of the most exciting things about traveling is to prepare for the trip. It’s essential that couples arrange everything from the start. You have to talk about itinerary, budget, travel style, and goals.
For example, if you want to go to Europe, decide if you want to visit several countries of the continent or focus on just one region.
Also, you have to make sure that both of you establish the type of budget. Some people love to travel on a backpacker’s budget while others like to indulge in certain luxuries.
These types of things can create discomfort and generate discussions if it has not been clarified before.
Always communicate
When you travel, there are moments when you have to make decisions. So, if there is something you don’t like or are worried about, tell your partner. Don’t hold it back! It’s not about being annoying. But it’s better to speak out either during the trip or before.
It’s fundamental to have communication. You’re traveling together. All decisions made will affect both of you.
Learn when to be silent
Just as you have to communicate, you also need to know when to let go of certain things. Sometimes couples ruin their trips because they argue most of the time about trivial things.
Don’t let a good experience with the person you love turn into a nightmare because you focus on some things that won’t bring anything good to the trip.
Have patience
It’s important to have patience.
There are times when, due to some silly mistake, an argument can make your life bitter.
This is where patience is a great ally because it is not about who is right or wrong, it is about enjoying together as a couple.
If your partner is upset or frustrated, keep in mind that sometimes problems arise during the trip that are beyond his control and can cause a drastic change in his mood.
Be flexible
Traveling together does not mean always sharing what you both like. It is also doing what you or he likes. If there’s something you don’t like to do, but they’ve been doing what you like, it’s time for you to return the favor too.
Or you can both make it clear from the start that if there are some things that only one of you likes, the other will give you space to enjoy alone.
There are couples who give each other space on trips. While he visits a football stadium, she visits an exotic spa. It’s not about being glued to each other. It is also necessary sometimes to give yourself some respite.
Work as a team
Another good thing about traveling together is that you can count on your partner to help you out. There are things that are very difficult for us to handle. Here’s when your partner comes in handy.
Probably she or he is better with making a reservation on the proper place based on the budget you settle. There are tasks that you can manage more efficiently than your partner. And the same applies to him.
The idea in this regard is to put the skills at the service of both with the purpose of making the trip as pleasant as possible.
Save time for yourself
As stated, give yourself some time to enjoy those things you love alone. When you travel, sometimes you forget that this is also a personal experience.
Couples tend to think that they will have to remain together at all times. Unless you’re on your honeymoon, you definitely do things separately. Moreover, this makes you see things more objectively.
Celebration time
What better way to celebrate something special than by taking a trip? Take this opportunity to revitalize yourself and be thankful for whatever you achieve.
If your partner has been promoted, take this opportunity to show how proud you are of him. And the same time you will strengthen ties to further improve your relationship.
Be positive
While travelling you must try to keep a good mood. This is a relaxing time that you’re sharing with the person you love. It’s not only good for him but also for you.
When you have a positive attitude, you will feel more inclined to enjoy it. There are a lot of activities you can do on your trip. Make the most out of it!
Habits of traveling as a couple
Depending on certain variables such as having children, the habits of traveling are different. Let’s see how you can make your trip more pleasant according to your situation:
Parents
People with children have to make arrangements before the trip starts. There are not many. Below are the most important ones:
Choose the right place
When you are a parent, you mostly have to travel with your children. So you should choose a destiny that fits your children. The theme parks in Florida are a great spot for them.
As a parent, you know what children like. So, look for a place that offers common activities according to their age and that attracts their attention.
Non-stop flight
Try to book a flight with non-stop. It’s less stressful for you and your children. If you can’t avoid it, make sure the stops are not very long. Try, also, that the schedules are good for the children and that they do not break.
During the flight, have them sit by the window. That way they can contemplate the landscape, and they will have one more distraction.
If you travel at night make sure to ask the stewardess for a pillow and a blanket. The more rested all of you arrive at your destination, the better you will feel.
Remember to bring coloring books or magazines that they like in case the trip is too long. Some parents include brochures about the place they’re going to visit. That way kids can learn a little about the destination.
Include the essentials
Take with you everything your children need as basic necessities. For instance, if one of your kids suffers from asthma, pack the inhaler and several replacements.
Don’t blindly trust in advance that the region you’re going to visit has the medicine that they will need. You have to be smart and pack your medicine.
Couple without kids
When it’s only you and your other half, you will have more freedom. And of course, it’s less stressful. You don’t have to watch over anybody. And you will solely focus on you
Plan a short escape
Many couples take advantage of the weekends to start the pre-travel so to speak. They test how they react to each other once they are away from home.
If they find it exciting and have a wonderful experience, they venture into a long trip. So, test with your husband how much you can enjoy the experience of going out together for the weekend.
Plan your trip
Consider what you and him like, and what are your preferences, and reach an agreement where each one is satisfied with the chosen destination.
Then, both of you will take care of every part of the travel. For example, if you are the one who’s going to make the reservation, book a hotel that has everything that both needs.
Make sure to discuss everything together. That includes hotels, transportation, and budget.
Keep a good dynamic
Adopt a positive attitude. Listen to music, speak, and laugh together to keep yourself in a good mood. There is always something new about the other person. Enjoy the silence and sleep a little if the road is long.
Warnings
As implied in the beginning of the article, don’t try to force your husband to travel with you. An experience that is supposed great can turn into a nightmare if he’s angry all the time.
It can also hurt your marriage. Though you have heard that a romantic trip can make a couple come closer, it can break them apart as well because he’s going to be distant, eventually more annoyed to be doing something he doesn’t want.
First, you have to find out why he doesn’t want to travel with you. Then, have a conversation. Ask him to be honest with you. No matter how hard the truth can be, honesty is the foundation for a good relationship.
Seek help
You can request couple counseling. Find out a good counselor if you need a mediator that advises you and sets the rules for constructive communication.
If you choose this approach, tell him first. Don’t go set an appointment without telling him. It would make him mad. The right way to do it is when both spouses agree.
FAQs
Does he stop loving me if he won’t travel with me?
Do not let your thoughts deceive you. There could be other reasons why he doesn’t want to take you with him. Most men don’t like to take their wives on business trips because they won’t give them enough time.
Is it possible that he’s cheating on me?
It’s indeed a possibility. But if he’s cheating on you, you will feel it before the trip. What you will need is confirmation of the affair. However, this is a situation more complex than just traveling alone.
Is it possible that he doesn’t enjoy my company anymore?
It’s something to consider. But keep in mind that things can get cold at one point in the marriage. He may feel tired and prefer a quieter life.
Why does one member of the couple think that the other should not travel without him?
Because he or she has insecurities. She is scared that he will stop loving her and abandon her. This provokes jealousy that derives from the same insecurities.
Also, it is a habit. Sometimes one spouse thinks he must be always with his partner. But that can turn into a controlling relationship that suffocates you because the other person is afraid of losing you.
Shouldn’t I go on vacation with my spouse?
You should go if both of you are willing to go. No couple travel must take place when one member is being forced to please the other.
Conclusion
As you see, do not force your husband to travel with you. Do not use tricks or blackmail. Find out the reasons and try to solve them through communication.
Remember that several reasons make him say no:
- Having a tight schedule
- Responsibilities with relatives that need care.
- Watch over the children.
- Preferences are not the same.
- The relationship is getting cold.
So, whatever the reason may be, consider making travel with your close friends. As said, traveling separately has become more popular. And it’s a good opportunity to share with other people and have time alone for yourself!