Making out on a first date is a success for some people. It’s more than often elevated to some kind of achievement specially among men. For women is somehow different. They tend to look for more. However, they can read it from a mile away when a man wants to make it out.
So, since you’re here, whether you’re man or woman, you have doubts.
And they are well founded!
But first, let’s answer the question and then explore why you’re having doubts.
Is it ok to make out on a first date?
If you really care for your date or plan to have a serious relationship in the future, refrain your carnal impulses. You should base this upcoming union on something more than just sexual pleasures.
Some people say it’s okay to make out on a first date to find out from the beginning if there’s chemistry in all aspect of a relationship. But if you proceed this way, the relationship will have weak grounds.
Of course, if it’s just a date with someone that you don’t plan to go all in with, attraction may find its way. Possibly, the other person wants the same. What it’s imperative to establish is what each person wants.
Why isn’t it ok to make out on a first date?
As implied, when you make it out on your first date, you’re basing everything on sex. It’s a important part, I won’t deny it. But for a relationship to last and has meaning, it needs to based on principles and values.
What you see in the other person has to match your ideals, find things in common where it gives space to grow strong roots for a strong relationship.
This is basic of a healthy interaction. Sex is a fundamental part of it. And it needs to complement the elements, not be the only factor to start and maintain a relationship.
Is there any prohibition by religion?
God is clear on this subject:
Do not have sexual relations before marriage.
When it comes to religion, there is certainly different points of views depending on the religion of the people involved. This can be a problem if both individuals hold different beliefs.
Let’s see what some religions say about premarital sex:
Premarital sex among the different branches of Christianity is pretty clear. You should refrain to carnal desires before marriage. However, reality is completely different. Many Christians indulge in sex before marriage.
For instance, protestants even though they abstain from disobeying God, they take part in that activity because they don’t consider sex out of wedlock a mortal sin.
The Qur’an, the central religious text of Islam, says that sex should only be between spouses. So, no sex is allowed before marriage. Actually, all dates have to be chaperoned between Muslims and people affiliated with this religion.
Jewish people are more open to sex than you ever think. They think of it as a gift and holy obligation. As for premarital sex, though it is not condemned, it’s not seen as appropriate and valid according to Jewish tradition.
On Buddhism, we have to separate traditional Buddhists from western Buddhists. Tradicional Buddhists has very strict views on sex not only before marriage but how sex should be.
On the other hand, western Buddhists tends to be more liberal. They don’t deny the basic impulses. They consider it necessary and healthy even before marriage.
There are other religions that have the own take on premarital sex. The important thing to know and respect what the person belief is.
Also, choice is important. And each individual perfectly make the decision based on free will. Premarital sex sometimes is agreed upon between the two people involved.
Who’s most likely to make out on a first date
Men obviously tend to push for sex on a first date no matter if they’re single, engaged or even married (yes, married men date other women). To put it in a way, nowadays dating is somehow is seen as a way of getting laid.
Don’t take offense, though there are exceptions, but it’s how things normally unfold.
In general, the rate is somehow low, not as low as it should be, but low. See the graph below where it showcases the rate between men and women on intimacy on a first date.
The rate for kissing on the first date is obviously higher. When a date goes so good, it’s quite normal to finish it off with a tender kiss, nothing too erotic like a smooch, but a good kiss that remind the other how great the time shared was.
Of course, there are variables depending on the age of couples. Younger couples tend to give a goodbye kiss more often than older ones.
Thinks to consider before having sex on your first date
The idea of reaching home base can be considered a signal of triumph on a first date, but real success is not measured by how far did you go, but how productive it was.
If your primary idea of dating someone is more that just ocasional encounters, then sex can wait.
Here are 5 reasons to avoid having sex on your first date:
- The risk of finding it uncomfortable because you both don’t know each other pretty well.
- The doubt that normally originates if all was just one night or there’s more to it.
- Thrill is suppressed because things are rushed.
- A not so good session can jeopardize a possible good relationship that stands the test of time.
- Protection can be overlooked which causes consequences (pregnancy) that both of you may regret later.
As you can see, there are important things that can be destroyed by having sex on the first date. Think wisely! You never know how good a future relationship would be!!
Of course, you might be thinking that the other person may not have in mind a long commitment. That’s true. It depends on the person you’re dating. If you date a single mom, she might be looking for a serious relationship.
Nevertheless, there are single mothers that want having a good time though the rate is low. Here are factors at play such age, personalities and so on.
How to control your impulses on your first date
It’s hard to be firm and not give in to desires. I give you that! So, follow this recommendations to make sure you stay true to your convictions.
Think of your date partner as more than just a object
If you’re main goal is sex, your date is just an object that you will dispose after you reach that goal. But if you want to something serious and meaningful, treat her/him as an individual with qualities.
Get to know your date thoroughly. Ask questions and share your beliefs. Invest in it as something valuable.
Don’t date somebody just for the physical appearance
Alright, I get it, we all want to date beautiful people! But see beyond the surface. Look what behind a beautiful face and body. Try to something that elevates your spirit and fills your heart.
It’s the first date not the last one
Also, think long term not short term. If you really care for the person you’re dating, you won’t push sex on the first date. You know that it’s a process where you getting to know this person. So, let things take their natural course.
Do things both enjoy
You’re on a date. Seize the time! Go to several places. Have so much fun as possible. When you’re in this dynamic, the though of sex is progressively diluted in your mind.
If you’re man, prepare a surprise for her. Invest time in it. While you’re at it, you won’t think about pushing for sex. And if you’re a woman, you can take the initiative to propose to something fun.
Engage on interest conversation topics
There’s no better way to dispel the idea of sex that engaging in a conversation that absorbs you. This leads to explore other interesting topics that you didn’t consider before.
When you do this, you also discover in the other person things that grabs you. It motivates you to the point that makes you wan to know more.
If you think you’re falling short of topics, ask questions. The following video shows you 10 excellent question to ask during the conversation:
Interest in your partner’s life
Your date is a human being with dreams, wishes and problems. This is a whole world in front of you waiting to be explored. And as you do it, you also start to opening yourself.
Temptation on a first date
When you’re feeling that you’re giving in, it’s time to excuse yourself for a minute (Go to the bathroom). Consider why you can’t get intimacy out of your head.
Look into yourself and examine certain things:
- The motivation behind dating is just sex or getting to know someone you like.
- Consider if you’ve become addicted to sex and don’t know it yet.
- Do you respect your date? Ask yourself this with your hand on your heart.
- Why the rush? If you have competition, you see her/him as a trophy.
Whatever it is, you can have an idea of what is the driving force pulling you into temptation.
Intimacy on a first date bring to many input from the different people: youngsters, adults, elders and parents. And each one has his own take. So, let’s answer some related questions from different angles.
What parents think about first date?
Good parents normally put norms to ensure that sex is not consumed while at the same giving the certain freedom for the sons and daughter had a successful date.
Can I have a good date without sexual intercourse
Sure. Sex actually can destroy a good date and the possibility for a relationship. In general, the relationships that last are the ones where sex was not the main priority. Older people above 40s practically don’t have sex on the first date.
What does kissing on the first date mean?
It can means different things. Normally, a kiss at the end means that you both enjoy the time together and wans to keep on seeing each other.
Do guys kiss on a first date?
They are more inclined to do so than girls. However, after a terrific date, women almost always expect that men take the initiative to end the wonderful night with a romantic and tender kiss.
Is a hug good after first date?
Absolutely. Even if the date didn’t go as you expected. When you hug your date, you at least acknowledge that you appreciate the time that you both shared.
Avoiding succumbing to your carnal desires on the first date is complicated. But you must endure if you have serious and noble intentions.
Remember the 5 reasons to avoid sex on a first date:
- Chances are sex does not satisfy one or neither of them.
- Doubt whether there would be a true relationship afterwards.
- Killing the thrill of getting to know each other.
- Relationships based on sex don’t last.
- Consequences both are not prepared or willing to face.
Also, review again the recommendations on how to control your impulses. These tips will help you fight against temptation. Premarital sex will continue happening. It’s a reality.
What’s important is what you want from this date on, just a night of sexual pleasure or something that can last.